You know, like for me, when I go shopping (something I don't do too often) and you are in the store wandering around looking at all the stuff on the shelves, the sales items, new products. Suddenly, two hours have passed and you don't remember - cannot believe - that it's been two hours since you first entered the store. Seems more like 15 minutes, really. That's what will happen to me and is presented as just one example.
Interest in this dissociated state all began because I cannot remember my childhood. Not one part of it. Zip, gone, like it never happened TO ME. How can someone NOT remember their past. I was there. I was younger.
I grew up in a seemingly normal household with 4 sisters and one brother and a mom and dad. My siblings remember my childhood. But NOT ME. I actually thought that it was normal not to remember your past.......so I went through most of my life thinking that my memory just wasn't as good as everyone elses. Ha,ha, just a big joke! No memory! There was no reason to believe otherwise. Here I am, a grown woman, two children, divorced, and at 60 years old feeling quite happy with my life - until one day I pick up this book called "The Myth of Sanity" written by Martha Stout, Ph.D. I actually bought the book at a yard sale along with a few other books and brought them home, thinking I'd have some new reading material available when I was in the mood.
It was on page 29 of the book. As I was reading this part of the book, I actually thought it was me that she (Martha) was talking to and that it was me (The Mediator) answering her. From the book:
(Martha)
What does this feel like, not being able to
remember whole chapters of one's own
life? I have asked many people this
question, Julia among them. As usual,
her answer was obvious and starteling
at the same time.
(Julia)
"It doesn't feel like anything," she answered.
"I never really thought about it. I guess
I just assumed, sort of tacitly assumed, that
everyone's memory was like mine, that is to
say, kind of blank before the age of twenty
or so. I mean, you can't see into someone
else's mind, right?"
What a can of worm I opened up when I began reading this book. . . . . . . . .
~ The Mediator
