Sunday, January 30, 2005

My World Coming To An End ?? ! !

Well, since I spent the majority of the day sleeping and resting yesterday I thought I'd try to get some of the chatter racing through my head down on paper, so to speak.

I am moving. Moving creates all kinds of chaos both within the home and within the physical being of those moving. I haven't moved for 15 years and had forgotten (somewhat anyway) how stressful it can be.

"The move", as it has come to be referred to, by all accounts it a positive one. Most of my family thinks this is a wise decision on my part. My friends and coworkers are happy for me and only see the positive in "the move". So why does it feel like my world is coming to an end?.......i'll tell you a little secret - - this move is all part of my plan for the future survival, for myself and my children and whoeverelse is able to listen and hear.

My story about, what I refer to above, as my plans for survival is a rather lengthy one - one I will not go into detail about as yet. But rather, I will try and explain what it is that I see going on around me that makes my heart ache on the inside, while I smile on the outside. Suffice it to say that there is no fear involved in all of my plans. Fortunately for me, I have made peace with fear. What roads I have already walked and experienced gave me something that has helped me to accept reality and to practically deal with it.

I read something this weekend and it struck such a strong chord within me that I want to shout it to everyone I meet and see. I am paraphrasing here, but it went like this: The TRUTH is the only thing that will save this planet.

Have you ever heard a word, a phrase, read a story and it just absolutely resonates with you. This sometimes will happen to me and when it does, I know I must take notice and think about why.

With all the horrors going on around the world, and all the political changes going on within our own wonderful USofA, one wonders what one individual can do to produce a positive change in their world, in our world. Years ago, I used to think that if I only entertained 'positive thoughts' that my world would be happy and filled with love. But, as any experiment can go wrong, the more I thought the good thoughts, the more horrible my life became. And, I thought that maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. I was defective, or my thinking processes were incorrect. I read the books, and kept thinking that maybe with the next book, there would be something to help my thinking produce a better life, a happier outcome. NOPE, nope and nope.!

One day I just stopped. And instead, I started DOING. Taking charge of my life by working towards making changes, no matter how small each change would be. And it seemed to work. I was no longer filling my head with mantra's and programmed thoughts to be happy. I was doing things to make the changes happen.

My love of books and reading changed focus. I was now more interested in history and economics. It was something I was very unfamiliar with, especially economics, but I started retaining some information and could see patterns forming - both economic and historical.

See: http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs20041031.htm. An article written by Laura Knight-Jadczyk.

This seemed to make my being happy. I was learning and it was fun and interesting. BUT when I tried to share what I had learned, people just laughed at me. It seemed that I was seeing clearly what was going on with the world around me. And, I don't just mean economics/politics. I was able to see the hypocracy in people's words, in the promises of our politicians, in what we're fed by TV and radio and advertising. None of it was truthful.

If you heard the truth, would you believe it???

No one wants to hear the truth. If a wife asks her husband "Do you think this outfit makes me look fat?", what is the husband to do - tell the truth, hurt her feelings or lie so that his life with her remains calm and peaceful and stress free???

If the public at large were told the truth about the economy, about the coming economic crash, about the changes happening in the weather and nature, would they want to hear it - or would they rather watch some reality show, or leave their children home alone so both parents can work, so they can keep up with their neighbors in purchasing material things? History, as with life is cyclical. If you don't believe me, just look at fashion. What was in style in 1950 is making a comeback. Things go round. Look at your life. Do you recognize cycles?

TRUTH actually has a freeing kind of feeling. That I can tell you from experience. My ex-husband is an alcoholic. For a long time I tried to keep it hidden, was ashamed of the truth. I thought that if I never spoke about it, it didn't exist. And, if I did speak about it people would not like me. Would piety me.

Then one day, out of sheer anxiety, I told my co-workers what was going on in my life. And you know what, the only thing that changed was that they now were able to support me and my situation. People did not stop talking to me, or piety me. And, the burden of secrecy now was ended and I actually felt 'free'. Maybe that's was freedom really is. Free to tell the TRUTH. Freedom.

Hopefully my move will be a positive one. Actually, if I look at it objectively I know that to be a TRUTH. If I look at my move subjectively, all I do is fret and second guess myself and my decisions. We all need to be more objective about our lives. We all need to face the TRUTH.

My world, as I know it, is coming to an end. But a new path will be opening up with this move. Where it leads, I do not know.





No comments: