THE WIFE IS ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW

Yes, it's true. The wife IS always the last to know. And I'm not sure why that is in every case, but in my case there were so many distractions presented to me all at once, that I could not recognize that a bottle of vodka had become my husband's constant companion.

At that time in my life, my dad was dying, my son, who was a 24 hour, round-the-clock bundle of energy (who said that children with Down's Syndrome were like vegetables???), who went to bed after 12 midnight and woke every morning at 5AM pronto.

The preschool 'special needs' integrated classroom that he attended called him HARRY HUDINI (spelling???the great escape artist). He could disappear from a classroom of 12 students and 4 teachers in a heartbeat. That should tell you how much time I had to devote to his care.......it was 24/7. That his father worked alot and came home dog tired (I know now why he fell asleep as soon as he came home......or on those days that he didn't fall asleep, why he was so argumentative - and freaked me out constantly).

The next trauma that hit me squarely in the emotional basket was that the home we lived in with my grandmother (a two family home) was being sold. We lived there for 10 years. It was my HOME. But my wonderful grandmother, whom I adored, and lived with for the last 10 years had passed away without putting anything in writing about our purchasing the home at an agreed upon amount. With rising home sales in the area back in the late 1980's, the house went from $34,000 to over $100,000 in a matter of a couple of years.

I (er, we) could not afford the dramatic cost and were now forced to accept land from my husband's parents and would build a home ON A DEAD END STREET ... we were THE THIRD HOME AT THE END OF THE STREET ... FIRST HOME BELONGED TO MY IN-LAWS (AND THEIR OTHER TWO SONS) NEXT HOME BELONGED TO MY SISTER IN LAW AND HER HUSBAND ... THEN MY HOME. The idea of living alone on a street with people who actively worked to discredit me with my children, who constantly humiliated me in front of my husband (who didn't have the backbone to support me or take the side of me, his wife, during family meetings), was almost more than I could physically bear. I didn't think I would survive the move.

With the panic attacks, my heart being all wacked out, constant fear of dying, isolated from family, friends and society in general (as we now lived out in the woodlands on a dead end street - and me with no car) was more than my physical being could handle.

We moved in when my daugher was 9 years old, and my son was almost 4. Most people who knew my in-laws loved them and thought that I was the luckiest person in the world for being able to live near such wonderful human beings. Of course, I never let on (because who was I, the disgruntled daughter-in-law) that there was no affection from them to me.

I tried to get them to like me. I really tried. But, trying is useless when you are up against a psychopathic http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath3.htm family. And, if you want to know what are the signs/symptoms of a psychopath check this out http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissism/psychopathy_checklist.html .

This article is a checklist of antisocial, personality, sociopathy & psychopathy behaviors. Don't let the last sentence discourage you. If you have a significant other, spouse, child, family member, friend who you just cannot understand, who constantly puts you into uncomfortable situations - always full of drama and possible abuse, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE. This is just a note from someone who found out too late.

But, not late enough to 'change my stars'. And, I did ! ! !