STRANGE MOMENTS IN MY LIFE

Most people have experience strange moments in their lives. I'm no exception - - with the exception of my own strange moments.

One example: In my younger days, I was dating a similar younger man who lived not too far from my home. As it happened, this was only our third date. I had two cats that I adored. He, apparently, was allergic to cats. And, while at my home, had an asthma attack ! The attack was not so severe that he had to go to a hospital, but he could not drive, so I thought it polite to drive him home. I drove his car back to my home and he would pick it up the next day.

So, I got him home. He seemed much better and could breathe easily. I left. But.........as I drove down this long, long, hill to the main road..........there was this bright orange light shining above the car. Now mind you, I was in the woods. Hills on both sides of this long, long road. I looked out my window and all I could see covering the sky was this bright orange light. I remember commenting "Wow!". Next thing I knew, I was about one mile from my home. The car had died on the side of the road. And I had to walk home. It was midnight. I was very confused as to what had happened. This was one of my strange moments. I have never forgotten that light, nor that night. Go figure.....

Another example: It was my wedding day. I had been dating this man (the one above) for two+ years and we decided at the end of May to get married at the end of June. The only reason for this was that our work schedules didn't permit a wedding until possibly September. We both opted for June. And, amazingly in one month we got married. ((no, I didn't have to GET married! !)). We had a church wedding, a reception in a hall with a band. I sent out invitations and also had a wedding shower ((we did this all in one month's time.....something that when I think back on it, doesn't make sense - - but somehow the wind was at our backs and in 4 weeks we created a wedding)).

Well, the day of the wedding I was getting ready. Not too nervous. I have a video of me getting ready and joking with my sisters. The wedding was rather small, 100 people. I had one sister as maid of honor and my husband-to-be had his brother as best man. It was all just perfectly ok. During the church (catholic) ceremony, something VERY STRANGE happened. And, this, I have only told a handful of people because it makes NO SENSE to me........something extraordinarily strange came over me. After the ceremony, and after the reception, my now husband and I left for our honeymoon . There is no 'sane' way to explain what happened during the ceremony except to say that this man was not the same man I had fallen in love with. He looked the same, but the feeling surrounding him didn't feel the same. Whatever that means, it is the only way I can explain it.

I didn't want to be alone with him. Couldln't stand to look at him. So, what was wrong with me?? I mean I went from being crazy mad in love with this man, to not even feeling like I knew him. How can something like this happen? There was not ulterior motive in my wanting to marry him. I was extremely attracted to him and terribly in love with him. We had even shared our dreams of the future with each other - and 9 out of 10 of our dreams were a match. But this all changed during the wedding ceremony. I walked into the church in love and I walked out feeling like I was entering into a bad dream. He felt like a stranger. So, for the next number of years I beat myself up thinking there was something terribly wrong with me, trying to fix "whatever". And, I was never, ever, able to fix "whatever" that was.

Being somewhat emotionally removed from the above, I still don't understand those strange moments. I have thought about them over and over until I have looked at the situations from many different angles and cannot figure out what they were or what they mean. It's a mystery. Like the world we live in. Nothing is exactly as it appears.

My dream is to someday fully understand those strange moments that have occurred. Actually, there are more moments that I haven't yet figured out. Maybe I'm not supposed to ..... yet.

~ The Mediator