I'm just a little fish in a big pond. I like to think that I can still "think" and "learn" and "reason". There is much to learn about what is going on in our world. There is much to read about, especially my new found craving to reading about history past. And, it scares me......only because of the phrase: HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. Don't think so, read the article below. Or, if you have the courage, go to the very intelligent woman's website and read it in full there.
Below is an article from Laura Knight-Jadczyk's blog. Be afraid, be very afraid.
18 March 2006
TERRORISM AND THE THREE SILLIES
This weekend's edition of http://www.sott.net
carries several important pieces that I would like to bring to everyone's attention and then I am going to present a fable that I read as a child that will shed some light on our present situation.
The first article is by Paul Craig Roberts: Is Another 9/11 in the Works? Paul points out that what is happening in global politics - i.e. Bush planning another war in the midst of losing the first one - is totally insane. Yet, as anyone can see, the rhetoric leading up to bombing Iraq was identical to the mad propagandistic ravings that pass for political discourse concerning Iran today. "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." The immediate past tells us that Bush and the Neocons very definitely intend to make war on Iran. And yet, that is so insane that most of us can't grok it. The US Army is stretched to the breaking point, the economy is floating on illusion, the American people are a heartbeat away from unimaginable financial disaster, and yet Bush and the Warmongers are planning another hideously expensive war... or so it seems. Roberts states the case succinctly:
First of all, Bush lacks the troops to do the job. If the US military cannot successfully occupy Iraq, there is no way that the US can occupy Iran, a country approximately three times the size in area and population.
Second, Iran can respond to a conventional air attack with missiles targeted on American ships and bases, and on oil facilities located throughout the Middle East.
Third, Iran has human assets, including the Shia majority population in Iraq, that it can activate to cause chaos throughout the Middle East.
Fourth, polls of US troops in Iraq indicate that a vast majority do not believe in their mission and wish to be withdrawn. Unlike the yellow ribbon folks at home, the troops are unlikely to be enthusiastic about being trapped in an Iranian quagmire in addition to the Iraqi quagmire.
Fifth, Bush’s polls are down to 34 percent, with a majority of Americans believing that Bush’s invasion of Iraq was a mistake.
If you were being whipped in one fight, would you start a second fight with a bigger and stronger person?
That’s what Bush is doing.So, since Bush doesn't have the manpower or the moneypower (or even the cojones) to wage a proper war (I'm being sarcastic here since no war is ever "proper"), what's he gonna do?
The obvious answer is: Nukem!
Yup. It seems pretty clear that this is the answer that will suit. And Bush and gang have plenty of resources already on hand to do the job without making another blip in the current economic crisis; and just maybe, as a sideline, they can end up nuking Iraq too and "kill two birds with one stone". I mean, if you are going to start nuking, no reason to hold back, right? Solve all your problems with the same solution!
But there is a problem here: nuking Iran without provocation will absolutely enrage the whole rest of the world that is already feeling a lot of hostility toward the U.S. because there were no WMDs in Iraq not to mention the growing belief all over the planet that Bush and Co were complicit in the 911 attacks.
So, what to do? How to get justification to nuke Iran?
The answer is simple: "Those that do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." The history indicates that Bush and Co are certainly quite capable of engaging in False Flag operations against their own country in order to justify their actions (things they wanted to do and planned to do in advance). As noted above, 911 is most likely just such a scenario even if I think that the Bush Gang were only complicit and did not carry out the entire conspiracy on their own. In that sense, I think that a lot of commentators are correct: the U.S. couldn't have pulled that off alone. But I digress.
Justifying the nuking of another country is going to take a bit more than a 911 type attack; you know, "like attracts like." That means that what we (at Signs of the Times) have been saying for some time is becoming more and more likely to transpire: a nuclear attack on the US devised and carried out as a False Flag operation designed to lay blame on Iran. Roberts presents this idea in the following way:
Readers, whose thinking runs ahead of that of most of us, tell me that another 9/11 event will prepare the ground for a nuclear attack on Iran. Some readers say that Bush, or Israel as in Israel’s highly provocative attack on the Jericho jail and kidnapping of prisoners with American complicity, will provoke a second attack on the US. Others say that Bush or the neoconservatives working with some “black ops” group will orchestrate the attack.
One of the more extraordinary suggestions is that a low yield, perhaps tactical, nuclear weapon will be exploded some distance out from a US port. Death and destruction will be minimized, but fear and hysteria will be maximized. Americans will be told that the ship bearing the weapon was discovered and intercepted just in time, thanks to Bush’s illegal spying program, and that Iran is to blame. A more powerful wave of fear and outrage will again bind the American people to Bush, and the US media will not report the rest of the world’s doubts of the explanation.
Reads like a Michael Crichton plot, doesn’t it?
Fantasy? Let’s hope so. I'm afraid that I don't exactly agree with this version. I don't think that minimizing American deaths will be an objective. On the contrary, I think that maximizing American deaths will be deliberately sought so as to maximize the fear and hysteria. That means a nuke attack on American soil - not on a ship - and probably highly populated soil at that.
**
Moving on to the next item that caught my eye from the weekend edition of Signs: Robert C. Koehler writes a piece entitled Trust Us. In this article he tells the story of Ion Sancho, the election supervisor of Leon County, Fla., my home state. Koehler writes:
The problem is, there's an anti-democratic force rampaging across the country that wants ... privately conducted, secrecy-shrouded elections. The state of Florida even has a bizarre law outlawing manual recounts of election results. This removes all chance of public scrutiny from the process.
I humbly submit that this is nuts, and that if we don't scream out at the top of our lungs we're going to lose our democracy. What we're witnessing, I fear - and what isolated watchdogs like Sancho are warning us about, but cannot prevent all by themselves - is democracy's transition to expensive charade.I've been talking about this since the last election. When I saw what happened then, when the Signs Team had collected certain data, it was clear that fraudulent elections were already a fact of life in the U.S. Certainly, the 2000 election was the last fair election that was ever held in this country and that one was "given" to George Bush by trickery, bribery, coercion, blackmail, and having certain elements in place at the right place and time according to a devious plan. Once Bush had been declared president, he and his minions were then able to suppress any process that might have undone the "appointment." What's more, there were then able to set into motion the plan that ensured that whoever they want gets into office whereever and whenever they choose: manipulatable electronic voting.
So folks, its already a done deal. It's all over but the crying. There is NO chance whatsoever of anyone getting rid of the "Powers That Be" in the U.S. by way of the exercise of the vote. Anybody who suggests anything different to you is just living in denial or deliberately blowing smoke.
**
The third item on the Weekend Signs Page that I want to talk about is J. Crofts The Two Americas. He writes:
There are two Americas.
There's the America most of you reading this actually believed in-or still believe in. That America is the fabled "land of the free, home of the brave".
...........and you'll have to go to Laura's blog to read the "rest of the story"..........
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com/
Sleep well...........the nightmares are sure to follow...........
~ The Mediator
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
ARE YOU AFRAID TO SPEAK WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND ? ?
I've been away from my blog for a while. Work has been a disaster. And, I just read that Mercury went Retrograde on March 2nd and then Jupiter went retrograde on March 6th. That this Retrograde will last through July of this year. Not a good time to do much of anything. But reading and learning are two of the best things that you could be doing for the next few months.
Is anybody getting it yet?
Last week some poor delusional soul wrote a comment to my previous post saying:
I'm as Liberal as Liberals come. And you're crazy. Bush will be gone in three years, whether the Republicans are or not. Do you actually think Bush, the man, is as smart as Hitler?
You're worrying up the wrong tree.
My response was:
No, I don't think that Bush is as smart as Hitler. I don't even think Hitler was that smart. But psychological deviants have something that normal people don't have: a special knowledge, a preternatural cunning, you might say, that assists them. You might want to read a bit about Ponerology to get a handle on what I mean. Bush may be gone in three years, but it won't be because he leaves the White House under his own steam. Take that to the bank.
This week there is more evidence of exactly what I wrote about last week.
First of all, let's consider some of the headlines. We are now told that Bush's popularity is at the lowest ever. The latest poll says that Bush's Approval Rating Falls to New Low - fewer Americans consider Bush likable, honest, strong and dependable. Meanwhile, we read Americans take their ringside seats for the great conservative crack-up.
Sounds pretty exciting, doesn't it?
But what was Congress doing while all this evidence that their great leader's capital has gone seriously into the red was being trumpeted? Why, following the Bush/Neocon agenda, of course!First of all, in spite of the fact that there are 30 US Reps for Bush Impeachment Inquiry, which one might assume includes the charge that Bush lied the US into a war, Congress is still Pimping for the Neocons: US congressmen press for Iran sanctions bill. Doesn't it occur to them that this whole Iran thing is identical to the Iraq lies about WMDs? Or are they really that stupid.
Meanwhile, on the home front, Congress is still following the Neocon agenda of destruction of the U.S. as a democracy in which the people have any rights at all: G.O.P. Senators Say Accord Is Set on Wiretapping and this Illegal Spying, Spineless Congress: Oversight by Capitulation, and then more destruction of citizens rights in this one: House votes to dump state food safety laws.
Are you getting it yet?
In another direction we notice Washington Post' To Cut 80 Newsroom Jobs.
Now, why do you suppose that is? Probably because people ARE voting with their pocket books and aren't buying newspapers like they used to; either they aren't reading or they are getting their news on the internet. What could the Post do to save itself? Well, something like starting to print the truth, something like engaging in real investigative journalism for a change. If the Post started blazoning in giant headlines things like: Scholars for 9/11 Truth - A Boeing 757 did not hit the Pentagon, and Important for 9/11 Research: Brain Blindness, you can bet they'd sell more papers than they ever dreamed of.
But they aren't doing that. Instead, they are downsizing, almost an admission of coming bankruptcy. Why would they do that? Why would any group of people such as Congress and Journalists choose financial ruin when they could save themselves by dealing with the truth?
Only one reason: there is something else they are more afraid of. As I have said, Bush wasn't doing all that illegal wiretapping on just plain folks for the past two years.
Of course, over the past few days I've wondered what could be done, if anything. Obviously, voting using the Diebold machines or other corrupted systems is not going to get it. You can't get anything through to other countries via the press either. The citizens of the U.S., and all their systems of government, have been effectively hog-tied. As I said, there's no chance of impeachment, and there's no chance of changing things by trying to vote the bastards out. Heck, if there was any chance of the latter, you can bet that there would be another 9/11 type incident just before the next elections and Bush would do his "Night of the Long Knives", declare himself dictator for "the good of Amurrika," and cancel the elections.
Well, it's going to take some thinking. In the meantime, the best thing everybody can do is share information at the grass-roots level until everybody is on the same page. People need to know certain things, and they need to have it repeated so that it will break through the programming that they have suffered. What things do they need to know? Well, the following are a good start:
Political Ponerology
Neoconservatism, the Israeli Lobby, and other Power Relations
The Most Powerful Weapon In The World - Strategic Communication Laboratories and the war for your mind
Evidence That a Frozen Fish Didn't Impact the Pentagon on 9/11 - and Neither Did a Boeing 757
94%
More people need to "get it" before anything at all can be done. So quit wasting your money and energy on things that just aren't going to do a thing.
What's been on my mind for sometime now is the fact that I find myself actually frightened about talking about what is going on in the news. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was shopping with my sisters and saw some Veterans holding up signs on the Keene, NH Common saying "Honk if you think Bush is lying" !
I first noticed that no one was honking their car horns. But, as I mentioned to my sisters that I totally agreed with the Vets, she jumped down my throat (which shocked me to bits), telling me that they (the Vets) were not only stupid but so was I. She went on to talk about the prez and how he is saving the usa from terrorists. That if it wasn't for his bravery we'd all be blown to pieces. That he made the right choice to go to war (war = we are right).
Wanting to keep peace in the family, I just simply said that I saw things differently. That I had a differing opinion and politely agreed to totally disagree with her.
What really scared me was that she became SO ANGRY, so quickly. She turned on me like I was some stranger trying to take her personal security, her emotional safety away from her.
After that, I was just wondering how many other people do not speak up, do not voice their opinions about what is going on in the world, in their country because others have a LOUDER voice, because of others who THREATEN to disrupt your life because you do not agree with them.
I look for differing opinions in the newspapers, but I see nothing of substance. Where are the 63% of Americans who do not agree with the current administration. Why are the newspapers not reporting what the 63% of us Americans think. Where are our hero's??
With that said..........you may want to continue reading on. This is from a blog I like. The title is 'IS ANYBODY GETTING IT YET' by Laura Knight-Jadczyk.
~ ~ The Mediator
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com
Is anybody getting it yet?
Last week some poor delusional soul wrote a comment to my previous post saying:
I'm as Liberal as Liberals come. And you're crazy. Bush will be gone in three years, whether the Republicans are or not. Do you actually think Bush, the man, is as smart as Hitler?
You're worrying up the wrong tree.
My response was:
No, I don't think that Bush is as smart as Hitler. I don't even think Hitler was that smart. But psychological deviants have something that normal people don't have: a special knowledge, a preternatural cunning, you might say, that assists them. You might want to read a bit about Ponerology to get a handle on what I mean. Bush may be gone in three years, but it won't be because he leaves the White House under his own steam. Take that to the bank.
This week there is more evidence of exactly what I wrote about last week.
First of all, let's consider some of the headlines. We are now told that Bush's popularity is at the lowest ever. The latest poll says that Bush's Approval Rating Falls to New Low - fewer Americans consider Bush likable, honest, strong and dependable. Meanwhile, we read Americans take their ringside seats for the great conservative crack-up.
Sounds pretty exciting, doesn't it?
But what was Congress doing while all this evidence that their great leader's capital has gone seriously into the red was being trumpeted? Why, following the Bush/Neocon agenda, of course!First of all, in spite of the fact that there are 30 US Reps for Bush Impeachment Inquiry, which one might assume includes the charge that Bush lied the US into a war, Congress is still Pimping for the Neocons: US congressmen press for Iran sanctions bill. Doesn't it occur to them that this whole Iran thing is identical to the Iraq lies about WMDs? Or are they really that stupid.
Meanwhile, on the home front, Congress is still following the Neocon agenda of destruction of the U.S. as a democracy in which the people have any rights at all: G.O.P. Senators Say Accord Is Set on Wiretapping and this Illegal Spying, Spineless Congress: Oversight by Capitulation, and then more destruction of citizens rights in this one: House votes to dump state food safety laws.
Are you getting it yet?
In another direction we notice Washington Post' To Cut 80 Newsroom Jobs.
Now, why do you suppose that is? Probably because people ARE voting with their pocket books and aren't buying newspapers like they used to; either they aren't reading or they are getting their news on the internet. What could the Post do to save itself? Well, something like starting to print the truth, something like engaging in real investigative journalism for a change. If the Post started blazoning in giant headlines things like: Scholars for 9/11 Truth - A Boeing 757 did not hit the Pentagon, and Important for 9/11 Research: Brain Blindness, you can bet they'd sell more papers than they ever dreamed of.
But they aren't doing that. Instead, they are downsizing, almost an admission of coming bankruptcy. Why would they do that? Why would any group of people such as Congress and Journalists choose financial ruin when they could save themselves by dealing with the truth?
Only one reason: there is something else they are more afraid of. As I have said, Bush wasn't doing all that illegal wiretapping on just plain folks for the past two years.
Of course, over the past few days I've wondered what could be done, if anything. Obviously, voting using the Diebold machines or other corrupted systems is not going to get it. You can't get anything through to other countries via the press either. The citizens of the U.S., and all their systems of government, have been effectively hog-tied. As I said, there's no chance of impeachment, and there's no chance of changing things by trying to vote the bastards out. Heck, if there was any chance of the latter, you can bet that there would be another 9/11 type incident just before the next elections and Bush would do his "Night of the Long Knives", declare himself dictator for "the good of Amurrika," and cancel the elections.
Well, it's going to take some thinking. In the meantime, the best thing everybody can do is share information at the grass-roots level until everybody is on the same page. People need to know certain things, and they need to have it repeated so that it will break through the programming that they have suffered. What things do they need to know? Well, the following are a good start:
Political Ponerology
Neoconservatism, the Israeli Lobby, and other Power Relations
The Most Powerful Weapon In The World - Strategic Communication Laboratories and the war for your mind
Evidence That a Frozen Fish Didn't Impact the Pentagon on 9/11 - and Neither Did a Boeing 757
94%
More people need to "get it" before anything at all can be done. So quit wasting your money and energy on things that just aren't going to do a thing.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
WONDER WHY RELATIONSHIPS (MARRIAGES) DON'T LAST
I'm a divorced woman. Now that, it itself, isn't unusual. Lots of people get divorced these days. But have you ever wondered WHY??? I mean, I understand that people divorce for a multitude of reasons.......(fill in the blank _____________). For quite some time, I thought there was something terribly wrong with me. I thought that it was MY fault that my marriage didn't survive.
Why, shortly after I got married, when I realized the marriage was in trouble and my husband constantly told me that it was MY fault, I went to see an Astrologer. She was wonderful. She told me many things that were right-on-the-money. And she flat out said that the marriage would NOT survive. That he was a totally different person that I was (now, at the time, I thought it was our personalities that were different.........hadn't heard about ponerology/psychopaths).
Of course, what was my response to this woman, this Astrologer, telling me that my marriage would not last - why it was to try even harder to make it work ! ! ! And I did, having two children in the attempt. (and I'm an intelligent person)
Little did I realize at the time that there are two absolutely different types of humans on this planet. (Of course, GeoWBush said that with his phrase: "You're either with us, or against us." Who knew you could apply that to relationships/marriages.
There's so much to say and I'm struggling to find the words to continue. So, you'll have to come back to find out what else went on ....... from my perspective, of course.
~ The Mediator
Why, shortly after I got married, when I realized the marriage was in trouble and my husband constantly told me that it was MY fault, I went to see an Astrologer. She was wonderful. She told me many things that were right-on-the-money. And she flat out said that the marriage would NOT survive. That he was a totally different person that I was (now, at the time, I thought it was our personalities that were different.........hadn't heard about ponerology/psychopaths).
Of course, what was my response to this woman, this Astrologer, telling me that my marriage would not last - why it was to try even harder to make it work ! ! ! And I did, having two children in the attempt. (and I'm an intelligent person)
Little did I realize at the time that there are two absolutely different types of humans on this planet. (Of course, GeoWBush said that with his phrase: "You're either with us, or against us." Who knew you could apply that to relationships/marriages.
There's so much to say and I'm struggling to find the words to continue. So, you'll have to come back to find out what else went on ....... from my perspective, of course.
~ The Mediator
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Love Day / Happy Valentine's Day
Today is Valentine's Day. I got zero valentines. Oh, well, didn't expect to get any. But sometimes I wonder about the idea of having an admirer from afar. Sounds lovely. But wait..............
Maybe this isn't the time you want to have someone admire you and hope for you to return their attention/affection. Lately I've been reading alot. Here are some of the books I've read. Tell me if you find my list interesting............
First I read "IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING.....UNDERSTANDING & DEALING WITH MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE" by George Simon, Jr.
Next there was "STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS...TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK WHEN SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT HAS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER" by Paul Mason & Randi Kreger.
And, finally I'm just beginning "WITHOUT CONSCIENCE" by Robert D. Hare.
These books all deal with individuals who have NO CONSCIENCE. Some people say that they make up possibly a quarter of our population.
Imagine, not having a conscience, not worrying about what you do, what you say, how you treat your wife, child, lover, parent, child, etc. Individuals who are not limited in what they do to others. I have known one. Actually, there are several that have been or are now in my life.
And, until you become aware of them, you might go through life thinking you are crazy.....or that there is something wrong with you.....or maybe that you need to be more loving/allowing/caring/aware/"turn the other cheek" type person. N.O.T.
There is a type of human being who is not like you and me. Who has no conscience. Who turns everything you try to explain to them about what it is that is bothering you about their behavior TO BLAME YOU FOR WHATEVER IS GOING WRONG IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
Creepy, nest pas. Damn right ! ! !
Well, there are some words you should google: Ponerology, for one. There are some wonderful websites on Borderline Personality Disorder. And, for one more time, I challenge you to check out:
http://ponerology.blogspot.com
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/php
also, there is this G.R.E.A.T. website about psychopaths.....
http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath.htm
Maybe this isn't the time you want to have someone admire you and hope for you to return their attention/affection. Lately I've been reading alot. Here are some of the books I've read. Tell me if you find my list interesting............
First I read "IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING.....UNDERSTANDING & DEALING WITH MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE" by George Simon, Jr.
Next there was "STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS...TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK WHEN SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT HAS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER" by Paul Mason & Randi Kreger.
And, finally I'm just beginning "WITHOUT CONSCIENCE" by Robert D. Hare.
These books all deal with individuals who have NO CONSCIENCE. Some people say that they make up possibly a quarter of our population.
Imagine, not having a conscience, not worrying about what you do, what you say, how you treat your wife, child, lover, parent, child, etc. Individuals who are not limited in what they do to others. I have known one. Actually, there are several that have been or are now in my life.
And, until you become aware of them, you might go through life thinking you are crazy.....or that there is something wrong with you.....or maybe that you need to be more loving/allowing/caring/aware/"turn the other cheek" type person. N.O.T.
There is a type of human being who is not like you and me. Who has no conscience. Who turns everything you try to explain to them about what it is that is bothering you about their behavior TO BLAME YOU FOR WHATEVER IS GOING WRONG IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
Creepy, nest pas. Damn right ! ! !
Well, there are some words you should google: Ponerology, for one. There are some wonderful websites on Borderline Personality Disorder. And, for one more time, I challenge you to check out:
http://ponerology.blogspot.com
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/php
also, there is this G.R.E.A.T. website about psychopaths.....
http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath.htm
Sunday, February 12, 2006
GROWING OLDER.....IT'S A SIGN OF OUR TIMES
I'm sitting here this morning, not wanting to DO anything, as I've come down with a cold and my body is just sooooo tired. I've felt this way for the last few days and don't like the feeling at all.
Not only that, but it's my birthday next week and I'm going to be 58 years old. Fortunately for me, I don't look my age, nor do I feel my age. If I close my eyes, I would swear that I was only in my late 20's. When I go shopping for clothes (and that's a rare occasion, as I just love living in my jeans) ..... I tend to be attracted to the type of clothes I wore back 30 years ago (man, was it THAT long ago). Of course, those clothes are not what I could, or would, wear today, but that's the strangeness of growing older. That is, unless, you watch TV or go to the movies alot. Seems that the actresses never age. Course that's another topic for another time! ! !
I went to a birthday party not too long ago. A friend of mine turned 60. Someone gave her this button to wear saying "60 is the new 30". Now,, I don't know if I'd go that far, but it does seem that my generation is struggling with the idea of our own immortality lately. If anything, I am assuming that my generation does not want to become what they have been witness to with their parent's generation - - constant doctor's visits ..... being drugged-up ..... walkers & wheel chairs ..... and nursing homes.
Personally, I'm not buying into the idea that getting older means major deterioration of body/mind. I have this picture of myself growing older. This is what I see (for me).........
I'm older (let's just say older than I am today), I'm out in my garden, tending to the chickens and llamas, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the sweetness of the spring air. Later on, I'll put on my straw hat, get in my pony cart (which is pulled by a llama), and trott down the lane to a friend's house for tea. That is how I see myself in the future.
My cottage is filled with books and music. There is no TV. There is a radio, though. People gather in town on Sundays. It's just something to do to connect with everyone who lives nearby. Picnic's are brought and food is shared. There is dancing and merriment. (Does it sound like I've been born in the wrong time line??).
Well, that's where I want to go in my old (older) age.
Where are you planning to go???
~ The Mediator
ps. Ever heard of the term "podcast". They remind me of the old radio shows you'd gather round as a family and listen to in the evenings. But now, you listen to it on your computer (or you can download it to an mp3 player thingy). But there's a super site that I'm enjoying alot. If you care to, check it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs.php.
just click on "podcast". You'll see many topics to choose from. ENJOY ! !
Not only that, but it's my birthday next week and I'm going to be 58 years old. Fortunately for me, I don't look my age, nor do I feel my age. If I close my eyes, I would swear that I was only in my late 20's. When I go shopping for clothes (and that's a rare occasion, as I just love living in my jeans) ..... I tend to be attracted to the type of clothes I wore back 30 years ago (man, was it THAT long ago). Of course, those clothes are not what I could, or would, wear today, but that's the strangeness of growing older. That is, unless, you watch TV or go to the movies alot. Seems that the actresses never age. Course that's another topic for another time! ! !
I went to a birthday party not too long ago. A friend of mine turned 60. Someone gave her this button to wear saying "60 is the new 30". Now,, I don't know if I'd go that far, but it does seem that my generation is struggling with the idea of our own immortality lately. If anything, I am assuming that my generation does not want to become what they have been witness to with their parent's generation - - constant doctor's visits ..... being drugged-up ..... walkers & wheel chairs ..... and nursing homes.
Personally, I'm not buying into the idea that getting older means major deterioration of body/mind. I have this picture of myself growing older. This is what I see (for me).........
I'm older (let's just say older than I am today), I'm out in my garden, tending to the chickens and llamas, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the sweetness of the spring air. Later on, I'll put on my straw hat, get in my pony cart (which is pulled by a llama), and trott down the lane to a friend's house for tea. That is how I see myself in the future.
My cottage is filled with books and music. There is no TV. There is a radio, though. People gather in town on Sundays. It's just something to do to connect with everyone who lives nearby. Picnic's are brought and food is shared. There is dancing and merriment. (Does it sound like I've been born in the wrong time line??).
Well, that's where I want to go in my old (older) age.
Where are you planning to go???
~ The Mediator
ps. Ever heard of the term "podcast". They remind me of the old radio shows you'd gather round as a family and listen to in the evenings. But now, you listen to it on your computer (or you can download it to an mp3 player thingy). But there's a super site that I'm enjoying alot. If you care to, check it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs.php.
just click on "podcast". You'll see many topics to choose from. ENJOY ! !
Monday, January 30, 2006
SADNESS AND DESPAIR: IT'S SPREADING AROUND THE WORLD
As a mother, it is my job to make sure that my children become independent human beings. And, if that happens, I have done my job well. I love my children, more than life itself and I worry about their future ....... if there truly is a future for them or for any of us.
My question at the moment is DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE TRUTH ANYMORE??? I went to a family gathering this weekend. All anyone wants to talk about is their next vacation, how many points their child scored in last week's game, blah, blah, blah.
Now, family gatherings are mostly about small talk. But no one wants to honestly talk to one another and really get to know each other - what makes the other person tick. But I do. And, when you try to get the conversation going it seems that the person gets a 'deer-in-the-headlights' kinda look and either excuses themselves or changes the subject quickly.
Doesn't anyone SEE what is going on around us. We are NOT living in a safe world. We are living on the EDGE of psychopathic-dominated governments. Sometimes I feel like I'm living inside a video game.
...Speaking of that, if you haven't seen the movie "THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR", you should rent it......that is, if you liked the Matrix, you'll enjoy this also i think. It's about reality, simulated reality and our existence. Quite fascinating. .....
But back to sadness and despair. If you are reading this, and if you have children, are you looking out for their future?? Are you concerned about your retirement?? Are you the parent of a disabled child, wondering how they will survive after you are gone?? Are you wondering when the "Big One" will hit California?? There is so much to be concerned about, where do you start. And if, you are already one of the wide-awake humans who are already much concerned about all of the above, and more, let me direct you to a wonderful blog, the writer of this blog I admire from afar. She has her finger on the pulse of the universe, so to speak and there is much she can make one aware of with her writings........
Turn off the tv, turn down the radio. unplug your headphones.............here's the real world. Sorry it's not as much fun. But to survive you must first search for the truth.
go here:
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com/
Her latest post of 'bridge over troubled waters' really touched me deeply. See if it does the same for you.
~ The Mediator
psssssssssss. Wanna read about the climate changes that NONE OF US will escape?? It's just a matter of time. And, I'm not presenting this to you to scare or freak you out. This is something that's been held back from the public for a long time now.
If you are brave enough, you must visit todays alternative news site:
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs.php
My question at the moment is DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE TRUTH ANYMORE??? I went to a family gathering this weekend. All anyone wants to talk about is their next vacation, how many points their child scored in last week's game, blah, blah, blah.
Now, family gatherings are mostly about small talk. But no one wants to honestly talk to one another and really get to know each other - what makes the other person tick. But I do. And, when you try to get the conversation going it seems that the person gets a 'deer-in-the-headlights' kinda look and either excuses themselves or changes the subject quickly.
Doesn't anyone SEE what is going on around us. We are NOT living in a safe world. We are living on the EDGE of psychopathic-dominated governments. Sometimes I feel like I'm living inside a video game.
...Speaking of that, if you haven't seen the movie "THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR", you should rent it......that is, if you liked the Matrix, you'll enjoy this also i think. It's about reality, simulated reality and our existence. Quite fascinating. .....
But back to sadness and despair. If you are reading this, and if you have children, are you looking out for their future?? Are you concerned about your retirement?? Are you the parent of a disabled child, wondering how they will survive after you are gone?? Are you wondering when the "Big One" will hit California?? There is so much to be concerned about, where do you start. And if, you are already one of the wide-awake humans who are already much concerned about all of the above, and more, let me direct you to a wonderful blog, the writer of this blog I admire from afar. She has her finger on the pulse of the universe, so to speak and there is much she can make one aware of with her writings........
Turn off the tv, turn down the radio. unplug your headphones.............here's the real world. Sorry it's not as much fun. But to survive you must first search for the truth.
go here:
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com/
Her latest post of 'bridge over troubled waters' really touched me deeply. See if it does the same for you.
~ The Mediator
psssssssssss. Wanna read about the climate changes that NONE OF US will escape?? It's just a matter of time. And, I'm not presenting this to you to scare or freak you out. This is something that's been held back from the public for a long time now.
If you are brave enough, you must visit todays alternative news site:
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs.php
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
TOXOPLASMOSIS AND PONEROLOGY ..... WHAT A PAIR
Ok, so you want to know what the heck this title of my blog means. Well, it will take a little explaining, so bear with me if you can.
Toxoplasmosis is a word that I haven't heard for at least 15 years. That long ago, a woman I met had a child and he was suffering from the effects of toxoplasmosis. We (the woman and her child) met at a support group that was formed for women who had children with 'disabilities'. This word, toxoplasmosis ((or as I remember everyone referring to it as "kitty-cat disease")), has always stuck in my brain. Funny how certain events, dreams and apparently words stick in your consciousness............apparently to be retrieved at a later date when another word, dream or event happens to LINK them together to form a pattern, sentence, idea.
Apparently women who are pregnant should NOT clean out a cat's litter box due to the parasites that abound in cat feces. This CAN result in a child born with varying birth defects/issues. The young man that I met who suffered from this toxoplasmosis was blind and had a mild form of retardation. So sad it was to meet such a beautiful young child who would be faced with a difficult life. Anyway.........next ! ! !
Toxoplasmosis is a word that I haven't heard for at least 15 years. That long ago, a woman I met had a child and he was suffering from the effects of toxoplasmosis. We (the woman and her child) met at a support group that was formed for women who had children with 'disabilities'. This word, toxoplasmosis ((or as I remember everyone referring to it as "kitty-cat disease")), has always stuck in my brain. Funny how certain events, dreams and apparently words stick in your consciousness............apparently to be retrieved at a later date when another word, dream or event happens to LINK them together to form a pattern, sentence, idea.
Apparently women who are pregnant should NOT clean out a cat's litter box due to the parasites that abound in cat feces. This CAN result in a child born with varying birth defects/issues. The young man that I met who suffered from this toxoplasmosis was blind and had a mild form of retardation. So sad it was to meet such a beautiful young child who would be faced with a difficult life. Anyway.........next ! ! !
Ponerology is the study of the science of evil. I had never heard of it until recently when reading another blog. The subject of ponerology excited me so for this reason.......I was married to a man who from the time we took our wedding vows until 25 years later when we were officially divorced, created much negative drama and sadness in me and in our children (our family). I could not understand, for such a long, long, long time what it was that drove this man (who I fell in love with) to constantly argue, belittle, demean, ridicule and abuse those who loved him most. Our lives were constantly in motion from the fear and uncertainty that popped up daily. It was like walking on eggshells...........never knowing when this man would blow his top and rant on and on about whatever the 'issue' was that he wanted to argue about. For years I tried to help our relationship. (at least I thought I was attempting to help save our relationship .. not understanding that it could not be saved).
- When he got angry I tried being silent and just listening, hoping that the yelling would stop, but it never did. Sometimes he'd yell for an hour and then fall exhasusted into a deep sleep.
- Sometimes when he got angry, I tried yelling back, but that didn't work either, he would just get angrier and angrier.
- I tried asking to remember our children, and what this was doing to them, but that didn't matter either, as he could NOT stop himself until he was totally exhausted from his ranting and raving. (this was just part of the issue(s) between us).
I always wondered WHAT IT WAS that made him incapable of loving his family. What was it that CHANGED INSTANTLY the day we took our wedding vows? Why was he ALWAYS RIGHT AND I ALWAYS WRONG?
Well, when I came across the subject of ponerology and sociopaths/psychopathic behaviors my answeres were right there. There are two different types of humans on this planet of ours. AND the connection between toxoplasmosis (a parasitic disease) and ponerology (an evil entity living off/syphoning energy off others) just hit me square between the eyes.
Check out this blog for a more in-depth explanation of this issue (ponerology) (toxoplasmosis).
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/
And, or for further research you can also go to:
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs.php
~ The Mediator
Friday, January 20, 2006
A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE BRINGS AMAZING RESULTS
This type ((or font)) will help my eyes see better what I am writing. Sounds a little like 'Little Red Riding Hood' speaking. Just want to be sure I'm not facing the Big-Bad-Wolf ! !
Anyway, since the new year has begun I have been finding all kinds of things in my life are changing. And changing quickly.
Well, there's work...........Management is trying to disrupt and destroy our very honest and group effective working environment in our office. Suffice it to say, they actually were succeeding. Until I mentioned to the staff that maybe, just maybe, we should not take action, but just tell Management how we feel, what our sollutions to the problems we are facing, are and see what happens. All we told them was the truth.
Turns out that Management is V-E-R-Y stressed. And, our Manager is looking quite a bit older and grayer these last couple of weeks. Don't know if our strategy will work or is working, but the stress-of-the-situation has shifted and it is quite interesting to watch ((if one can detach oneself)).
Next there is family. I have moved recently and with this move was the intention that it would either help my son ((who is disabled)) become independent or I would realize that this was not something he would be able to achieve. Funny how one can be blinded by what is right in front of them. That's what was happening to me, as I quickly came to the conclusion that he ((my son)) did not have the DRIVE to be an independent person, capable of living alone.
Recently, my daughter's boyfriend of three years mentioned to her that he thought that we were 'babying' our beloved wonderful son/brother too much. That what the boyfriend was seeing was an individual struggling for independence ~~ where we were seeing an individual who needed constant care and companionship.
Well, armed with a different insight into my son's possible future, I consciously DECIDED that I would adopt the attitude that he ((my son)) was an ABLE BODIED HUMAN, that he was capable of living on-his-own, and that he would be successful in his attempts at reaching out to our new neighborhood and become a valuable part of the community.
FUNNY HOW A SHIFT IN ATTITUDE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Shortly after I adopted my new 'attitude', I was slowly becoming aware that my son WAS CAPABLE of doing and being more than I was consciously giving him credit for. Quite possibly, he COULD become INDEPENDENT.
Now, this was scaring the begeesius out of me. Where a month ago, I was the same person, looking at the same young man, who WAS NOT capable of living independently.........with a shift of attitude I was now a person, looking at the same young man, who IS NOW CAPABLE of living independently.
How the heck did this happen. Was it truly just a SHIFT of attitude within me??? What can I say but, yes, this was all that happened. I just looked at a problem from a different angle/attitude/perspective.
THE WORLD IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
Maybe in future posts, I can elaborate more on this mystery.
I'M GOING TO TRY TO SHIFT MORE OF MY ATTITUDES.
~~ The Mediator
Anyway, since the new year has begun I have been finding all kinds of things in my life are changing. And changing quickly.
Well, there's work...........Management is trying to disrupt and destroy our very honest and group effective working environment in our office. Suffice it to say, they actually were succeeding. Until I mentioned to the staff that maybe, just maybe, we should not take action, but just tell Management how we feel, what our sollutions to the problems we are facing, are and see what happens. All we told them was the truth.
Turns out that Management is V-E-R-Y stressed. And, our Manager is looking quite a bit older and grayer these last couple of weeks. Don't know if our strategy will work or is working, but the stress-of-the-situation has shifted and it is quite interesting to watch ((if one can detach oneself)).
Next there is family. I have moved recently and with this move was the intention that it would either help my son ((who is disabled)) become independent or I would realize that this was not something he would be able to achieve. Funny how one can be blinded by what is right in front of them. That's what was happening to me, as I quickly came to the conclusion that he ((my son)) did not have the DRIVE to be an independent person, capable of living alone.
Recently, my daughter's boyfriend of three years mentioned to her that he thought that we were 'babying' our beloved wonderful son/brother too much. That what the boyfriend was seeing was an individual struggling for independence ~~ where we were seeing an individual who needed constant care and companionship.
Well, armed with a different insight into my son's possible future, I consciously DECIDED that I would adopt the attitude that he ((my son)) was an ABLE BODIED HUMAN, that he was capable of living on-his-own, and that he would be successful in his attempts at reaching out to our new neighborhood and become a valuable part of the community.
FUNNY HOW A SHIFT IN ATTITUDE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Shortly after I adopted my new 'attitude', I was slowly becoming aware that my son WAS CAPABLE of doing and being more than I was consciously giving him credit for. Quite possibly, he COULD become INDEPENDENT.
Now, this was scaring the begeesius out of me. Where a month ago, I was the same person, looking at the same young man, who WAS NOT capable of living independently.........with a shift of attitude I was now a person, looking at the same young man, who IS NOW CAPABLE of living independently.
How the heck did this happen. Was it truly just a SHIFT of attitude within me??? What can I say but, yes, this was all that happened. I just looked at a problem from a different angle/attitude/perspective.
THE WORLD IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
Maybe in future posts, I can elaborate more on this mystery.
I'M GOING TO TRY TO SHIFT MORE OF MY ATTITUDES.
~~ The Mediator
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Ponerology and the 'Others'
Well, seems I'm on a roll, finding some great blog sites that I don't want to forget about and as a result, am making a mental reminder here not to forget to visit this one daily.
Ponerology is the study of evil. Ever heard of it?? Probably not. As it is something new to me also. But, once you start reading, you'll have a hard time stopping. Anyway, to get you started, if at all interested in learning about the 'other' type of human in our midst - - check out this bloggers site below. Also there is a terriffic article there on whistleblowers ....... read on:
Picked this article up at this bloggers site:
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/
To read this article in it's entirety, log onto above and scroll down to:::
WHAT FATE AWAITS NSA SPYING WHISTLEBLOWERS
by: David Swanson
Can there be any doubt that if the White House finds out who leaked the story of its illegal spying, fierce retribution will follow? Another way of asking that question is: Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Remember what happened to Ambassador Joseph Wilson? The White House leaked to the media his wife's identity as an undercover agent for the CIA, putting her life and those of her colleagues in danger and ending her career.
And let us recall what became of General Eric Shinseki, Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army, who dared to accurately predict how many troops would be needed to occupy Iraq. Defense Department officials leaked the name of his replacement 14 months before his retirement, rendering him a lame duck commander and embarrassing and neutralizing the Army's top officer.
We should also bring back to mind the fate of Major General John Riggs. He told the Baltimore Sun that the Army needed at least another 10,000 soldiers because it was being stretched too thin between Iraq and Afghanistan. General George W. Casey told Riggs to "stay in your lane" and not discuss the troops. Riggs retired and was denied his full rank, officially for "minor infractions."
Does anyone remember Army Spc. Thomas Wilson, a 31-year-old member of a Tennessee National Guard unit? After asking Donald Rumsfeld why vehicle armor was still scarce nearly two years after the start of the war, Wilson was trashed as an insubordinate plant of the "liberal media."
..... this article can also be read at:
http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_david_sw_060101_what_fate_awaits_nsa.htm
more about David Swanson here::: http://www.davidswanson.org
Learn, gain knowledge and save your life.
~ The Mediator
Ponerology is the study of evil. Ever heard of it?? Probably not. As it is something new to me also. But, once you start reading, you'll have a hard time stopping. Anyway, to get you started, if at all interested in learning about the 'other' type of human in our midst - - check out this bloggers site below. Also there is a terriffic article there on whistleblowers ....... read on:
Picked this article up at this bloggers site:
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/
To read this article in it's entirety, log onto above and scroll down to:::
WHAT FATE AWAITS NSA SPYING WHISTLEBLOWERS
by: David Swanson
Can there be any doubt that if the White House finds out who leaked the story of its illegal spying, fierce retribution will follow? Another way of asking that question is: Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Remember what happened to Ambassador Joseph Wilson? The White House leaked to the media his wife's identity as an undercover agent for the CIA, putting her life and those of her colleagues in danger and ending her career.
And let us recall what became of General Eric Shinseki, Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army, who dared to accurately predict how many troops would be needed to occupy Iraq. Defense Department officials leaked the name of his replacement 14 months before his retirement, rendering him a lame duck commander and embarrassing and neutralizing the Army's top officer.
We should also bring back to mind the fate of Major General John Riggs. He told the Baltimore Sun that the Army needed at least another 10,000 soldiers because it was being stretched too thin between Iraq and Afghanistan. General George W. Casey told Riggs to "stay in your lane" and not discuss the troops. Riggs retired and was denied his full rank, officially for "minor infractions."
Does anyone remember Army Spc. Thomas Wilson, a 31-year-old member of a Tennessee National Guard unit? After asking Donald Rumsfeld why vehicle armor was still scarce nearly two years after the start of the war, Wilson was trashed as an insubordinate plant of the "liberal media."
..... this article can also be read at:
http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_david_sw_060101_what_fate_awaits_nsa.htm
more about David Swanson here::: http://www.davidswanson.org
Learn, gain knowledge and save your life.
~ The Mediator
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY (US)A ???
Like the title says, what did happen to the country where I was born, raised and believed that we were a free, democratic society??? There came a point during the last year when I thought that the news could not get any worse.............but it has. My mantra for 2006 is 'educate yourself on ponerology'. If you think you know your family, your neighbors, your congressmen, your employer - you don't. What I mean by this is, if there is an individual in your life who is making things difficult for you, someone who stops your progress as an individual, always shows up at the most inopportune times and creates 'drama' in your life, someone who emotionally terrorizes you, then just keep on reading my friend.
I've posted exerpts from a couple of articles I found to be an amazing eye-opener for me this early AM. Just read on, if you care about your future.
Here's one by Bill Moyers (from PBS fame) (exerpt below).
.........THIS IS A TIME of testing - for people of faith and for people who believe in democracy. How do we nurture the healing side of religion over the killing side? How do we protect the soul of democracy against the contagion of a triumphalist theology in the service of an imperial state? At stake is America's role in the world. At stake is the very character of the American Experiment - whether "we, the people" is the political incarnation of a spiritual truth - one nation, indivisible - or a stupendous fraud.
There are two Americas today. You could see this division in a little-noticed action this spring in the House of Representatives. Republicans in the House approved new tax credits for the children of families earning as much as $309,000 a year - families that already enjoy significant benefits from earlier tax cuts - while doing next to nothing for those at the low end of the income scale. This, said The Washington Post in an editorial called "Leave No Rich Child Behind," is "bad social policy, bad tax policy, and bad fiscal policy. You'd think they'd be embarrassed but they're not." ...........
You can read the rest at:
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/htm
You need to follow that up with an article written by Laura Knight-Jadczyk entitled "Political Ponerology" (you know, ponerology, the study of evil). read here.....
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/political_ponerology_lobaczewski.htm. Small exerpt below:
.........The actions of [pathocracy] affect an entire society, starting with the leaders and infiltrating every town, business, and institution. The pathological social structure gradually covers the entire country creating a “new class” within that nation. This privileged class [of pathocrats] feels permanently threatened by the “others”, i.e. by the majority of normal people. Neither do the pathocrats entertain any illusions about their personal fate should there be a return to the system of normal man. [Andrew M. Lobaczewski, Ph.D. (psychology); Political Ponerology: A science on the nature of evil adjusted for political purposes] .........
I've posted exerpts from a couple of articles I found to be an amazing eye-opener for me this early AM. Just read on, if you care about your future.
Here's one by Bill Moyers (from PBS fame) (exerpt below).
.........THIS IS A TIME of testing - for people of faith and for people who believe in democracy. How do we nurture the healing side of religion over the killing side? How do we protect the soul of democracy against the contagion of a triumphalist theology in the service of an imperial state? At stake is America's role in the world. At stake is the very character of the American Experiment - whether "we, the people" is the political incarnation of a spiritual truth - one nation, indivisible - or a stupendous fraud.
There are two Americas today. You could see this division in a little-noticed action this spring in the House of Representatives. Republicans in the House approved new tax credits for the children of families earning as much as $309,000 a year - families that already enjoy significant benefits from earlier tax cuts - while doing next to nothing for those at the low end of the income scale. This, said The Washington Post in an editorial called "Leave No Rich Child Behind," is "bad social policy, bad tax policy, and bad fiscal policy. You'd think they'd be embarrassed but they're not." ...........
You can read the rest at:
http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/htm
You need to follow that up with an article written by Laura Knight-Jadczyk entitled "Political Ponerology" (you know, ponerology, the study of evil). read here.....
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/political_ponerology_lobaczewski.htm. Small exerpt below:
.........The actions of [pathocracy] affect an entire society, starting with the leaders and infiltrating every town, business, and institution. The pathological social structure gradually covers the entire country creating a “new class” within that nation. This privileged class [of pathocrats] feels permanently threatened by the “others”, i.e. by the majority of normal people. Neither do the pathocrats entertain any illusions about their personal fate should there be a return to the system of normal man. [Andrew M. Lobaczewski, Ph.D. (psychology); Political Ponerology: A science on the nature of evil adjusted for political purposes] .........
Saturday, December 17, 2005
EVER HEARD OF PONEROLOGY ....
I have not been this excited since I was first dating.
Why, you might ask someone who is long past the dating age, long past bearing children age, long past hoping for a better future for her children than should be expected age. Anyway, the reason for my excitement is the 'find-of-a-lifetime' in what is called PONEROLOGY.
Ponerology is the "study of evil". Sounds wild and peverse, doesn't it. But in actuality it is quite comforting. If you have EVER felt different, maybe you can't figure out why your life - and those in your life - keep going round and round on the same old path of disappointment and frustration. If you have EVER felt beyond exasperation due the behavior of family/friends/loved-one's, you must look further into PONEROLOGY.
I came across a blog that talked more in depth about it than I can even mention at this point. (if you're interested, check out http://ponerology.blogspot.com.)
Also, there is a website that has a Podcast (interview that you can listen to on your computer) that talks about this thing called PONEROLOGY. And, whether you look into what it is now, or wait..............there is a most positive satisfaction in reading about this new word/idea - that evil does exist and it is not at al what you think it is.
Gotta get on board with this. But, if this turns you off.....if this isn't something you're ready to look into for a better understanding of yourself/your world/your relationships/your future, I have to say that you'll truly be left out when our world goes into chaos.
Nuff said. Another place for more information on this new and exciting subject of mine is: http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/htm.
Keep safe,
~ The Mediator
Why, you might ask someone who is long past the dating age, long past bearing children age, long past hoping for a better future for her children than should be expected age. Anyway, the reason for my excitement is the 'find-of-a-lifetime' in what is called PONEROLOGY.
Ponerology is the "study of evil". Sounds wild and peverse, doesn't it. But in actuality it is quite comforting. If you have EVER felt different, maybe you can't figure out why your life - and those in your life - keep going round and round on the same old path of disappointment and frustration. If you have EVER felt beyond exasperation due the behavior of family/friends/loved-one's, you must look further into PONEROLOGY.
I came across a blog that talked more in depth about it than I can even mention at this point. (if you're interested, check out http://ponerology.blogspot.com.)
Also, there is a website that has a Podcast (interview that you can listen to on your computer) that talks about this thing called PONEROLOGY. And, whether you look into what it is now, or wait..............there is a most positive satisfaction in reading about this new word/idea - that evil does exist and it is not at al what you think it is.
Gotta get on board with this. But, if this turns you off.....if this isn't something you're ready to look into for a better understanding of yourself/your world/your relationships/your future, I have to say that you'll truly be left out when our world goes into chaos.
Nuff said. Another place for more information on this new and exciting subject of mine is: http://signs-of-the-times.org/signs/signs/htm.
Keep safe,
~ The Mediator
Sunday, October 09, 2005
SURVIVAL OF THE 'US'
With the above title, you can choose that 'US' means us or it can mean 'U.S.A.'. Take your pick. Either way, the outlook doesn't seem pretty.
During the last 12 months, it seems that some of the more horriffic natural disasters have taken place. Now don't go telling me that this world/planet is millions of years old and that other terrible disasters have befallen this big blue marble......I am aware that disasters come-and-go. But talking to my parent, she too cannot remember such human tragedies even during her lifetime (excluding of course, the world wars). This means that during the last 90 years the planet has been relatively calm. WHAT IS GOING ON NOW ? ? ?
If you click on: http://www.iris.edu/seismon/ you can check out all the earthquakes for the last 5 years. Most recent are in red. You can see how the so-called 'ring-of-fire has suddenly come to life. Pretty scary in my mind.
Then, of course, there are this year's Category 4 & 5 Hurricanes that have struck the United States. And apparently Category 4 Typhoons have struck China this year also.
Now that we have become a society that is totally dependent on produce and goods that are trucked into our neighborhoods (food/medicine/clothing/gas, etc), how many more natural (or unnatural) tragedies must occur for there to be a total disruption of services to a neighborhood near you ? ? Have you EVER contemplated this scenario??
~WHAT would you do if there were no more food on the shelves
of the grocery stores ? ?
~WHAT would you do if the water was cut off for a day/week/month ? ?
~ WHAT would you do if there were no electricity to run your tv or
your nebulizer or to pump gas into your car ? ?
~WHAT would you do ? ?
I know, I know, even my children DO NOT like me to bring up these unpleasant topics. They say to me "Mom, don't be rediculous, this can't happen." or they say "Mom, don't scare us." Now, I'm not the type of mother who wants to go around scaring my children or anyone for that matter. But I've always said PREPARE FOR THE WORST, EXPECT THE BEST. That's been my mantra. That's how I've designed my life.
So what can you do to prepare for the worst...............well, here are a few easy ideas that might come in handy some day.
.....WATER: take a two litre soda bottle and wash it clean. Fill it with water.
store some of these in your basement (or closet if you live in an apartment)
Remember, you can't even flush your toilet if you don't have electricity.
.....BATTERIES: you can buy some GOOD batteries (not the dollar-store brand)
and store them in your refridgerator. This helps them last longer - for when
you might need them.
.....FOOD: now whether you life in a home and have a garden or if you live in
an apartment with small space you can buy some dried soup mixes and put
them in a separate place. You can purchase some beef jerkey (that lasts
forever!!) and maybe some granola bars. Just tuck them away. You don't
have to spend a fortune on purchasing a years worth of food - especially if
you don't have the $$ to do so. Each time you go to the grocery store, just
decide to pick up an extra item for your shelf.
.....SHELTER: OK, this is a bit tricky, but it can be done. Buy a box of those
lawn and leaf trash bags (you know the really heavy thick ones) or you can
buy a couple of tarps and some rope. You can use the trash bags or tarps
to erect a shelter - should you need to. This is very basic, but would keep
the wind and rain off.
.....MEDICINE: at least get some aspirin or an extra box of bandages. You
can make your own medicine kit. You don't have to buy one. Do like the
food idea and purchase one thing at a time.
.....OTHER ESSENTIALS: You might want to put a board game aside for the
kids. A deck of cards. A book or two you've never read (get at a yard sale
for almost nothing).
.....BARTER ITEMS: have you thought of this? Buy a carton of cheap
cigarettes, a bag of candy bars, something small you could use if the
need arose.
Well, I'm not sure where this doom-and-gloom feeling is coming from. And, like my mantra: PREPARE FOR THE WORST, EXPECT THE BEST, I am expecting the best. But at least, should the worst show it's ugly face, I am prepared for at least a shot at survival.
~ as always,
THE MEDIATOR
During the last 12 months, it seems that some of the more horriffic natural disasters have taken place. Now don't go telling me that this world/planet is millions of years old and that other terrible disasters have befallen this big blue marble......I am aware that disasters come-and-go. But talking to my parent, she too cannot remember such human tragedies even during her lifetime (excluding of course, the world wars). This means that during the last 90 years the planet has been relatively calm. WHAT IS GOING ON NOW ? ? ?
If you click on: http://www.iris.edu/seismon/ you can check out all the earthquakes for the last 5 years. Most recent are in red. You can see how the so-called 'ring-of-fire has suddenly come to life. Pretty scary in my mind.
Then, of course, there are this year's Category 4 & 5 Hurricanes that have struck the United States. And apparently Category 4 Typhoons have struck China this year also.
Now that we have become a society that is totally dependent on produce and goods that are trucked into our neighborhoods (food/medicine/clothing/gas, etc), how many more natural (or unnatural) tragedies must occur for there to be a total disruption of services to a neighborhood near you ? ? Have you EVER contemplated this scenario??
~WHAT would you do if there were no more food on the shelves
of the grocery stores ? ?
~WHAT would you do if the water was cut off for a day/week/month ? ?
~ WHAT would you do if there were no electricity to run your tv or
your nebulizer or to pump gas into your car ? ?
~WHAT would you do ? ?
I know, I know, even my children DO NOT like me to bring up these unpleasant topics. They say to me "Mom, don't be rediculous, this can't happen." or they say "Mom, don't scare us." Now, I'm not the type of mother who wants to go around scaring my children or anyone for that matter. But I've always said PREPARE FOR THE WORST, EXPECT THE BEST. That's been my mantra. That's how I've designed my life.
So what can you do to prepare for the worst...............well, here are a few easy ideas that might come in handy some day.
.....WATER: take a two litre soda bottle and wash it clean. Fill it with water.
store some of these in your basement (or closet if you live in an apartment)
Remember, you can't even flush your toilet if you don't have electricity.
.....BATTERIES: you can buy some GOOD batteries (not the dollar-store brand)
and store them in your refridgerator. This helps them last longer - for when
you might need them.
.....FOOD: now whether you life in a home and have a garden or if you live in
an apartment with small space you can buy some dried soup mixes and put
them in a separate place. You can purchase some beef jerkey (that lasts
forever!!) and maybe some granola bars. Just tuck them away. You don't
have to spend a fortune on purchasing a years worth of food - especially if
you don't have the $$ to do so. Each time you go to the grocery store, just
decide to pick up an extra item for your shelf.
.....SHELTER: OK, this is a bit tricky, but it can be done. Buy a box of those
lawn and leaf trash bags (you know the really heavy thick ones) or you can
buy a couple of tarps and some rope. You can use the trash bags or tarps
to erect a shelter - should you need to. This is very basic, but would keep
the wind and rain off.
.....MEDICINE: at least get some aspirin or an extra box of bandages. You
can make your own medicine kit. You don't have to buy one. Do like the
food idea and purchase one thing at a time.
.....OTHER ESSENTIALS: You might want to put a board game aside for the
kids. A deck of cards. A book or two you've never read (get at a yard sale
for almost nothing).
.....BARTER ITEMS: have you thought of this? Buy a carton of cheap
cigarettes, a bag of candy bars, something small you could use if the
need arose.
Well, I'm not sure where this doom-and-gloom feeling is coming from. And, like my mantra: PREPARE FOR THE WORST, EXPECT THE BEST, I am expecting the best. But at least, should the worst show it's ugly face, I am prepared for at least a shot at survival.
~ as always,
THE MEDIATOR
Saturday, October 08, 2005
IT'S TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT THE FLU AGAIN
Whether it be called 'the flu', 'influenza' 'bird flu' the title doesn't matter. What matters is that you get yourself up to speed as to how you can protect yourself and your family/loved one's during the ever recurring flu season that begins around October of each year and can last well into the first few months of the following year (Oct-March). Below is a fascinating article on the 'flu' and you'll want to read the whole thing. My next post will be on what I, personally, find very useful during this coming season of illness. Anyway.............
Influenza - "a human respiratory infection of undetermined cause" according to Webster's dictionary. Most people have at some stage in their lives felt its effects, and while the normal human virus is not lethal to humans there exists the possibility that lethal "mutated" strains can develop.
Each winter the flu virus makes its expected appearance, commonly known as the "Flu season". The standard government response is to commission the large pharmaceutical companies to manufacture vast amounts of a vaccine.
TO READ MORE ABOUT THE 'FLU THREAT' CLICK HERE....
http://www.sott.net/signs/signs_flu_supplement.htm
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I've decided to list below some of my favorite books AND favorite remedies for the 'flu' and 'flu-like symptoms that come along each year. Mind you, this is just what I have read about, experimented with, and studied. What I am about to list here, are things you can do for yourself and your loved ones, should there be no doctor/hospital available.
Katrina has, I think, made us all think long and hard about how to care for ourselves - to be our own 'first responders'........not to rely on or hope for help coming soon ~ if ever. Anyway, these remedies are either very inexpensive and easily available or FREE. So, lets go shopping.......
((this list is by no means complete......just some of my thoughts on caring for myself and my loved one's.......)) And furthermore, the below is just my personal recommendation on items I have found quite useful. Remember, don't just take my word for it, research yourself always on the subjects below. As always, knowledge protects.
H O M E O P A T H I C R E M E D I E S :These can be purchased in Health Food Stores, and even Pharmacies are starting to stock these. Remedies cost anywhere from $4 to $6 dollars per remedy. And there is enough to last a person for a lifetime. Below is some very basic information. Please research for yourself, as I have done. Hope this will get people thinking and maybe get together a little "flu kit" for the coming months. As always, consult with your physician or medical care giver for further information.
Gelsemium is known as the "Great Flu Remedy" of the 1918 flu virus. This remedy saved many, many lives. Some remedies to have on hand are the following:
ACONITUM (or aconite) ..... 30C potency ..... take one dose (6-12 pellets), every hour for 3 hours in a row. The trick is to realize your're feeling a little 'off', before the onset of flu symptoms (headache, sniffles, fever, scratchy throat). Take this remedy at the VERY BEGINNING of symptoms.
GELSEMIUM ..... premier flu remedy and saved many lives during the epidemic of 1918. This remedy is useflu for flu symptoms that have taken a couple of days to develop. If you are fatigued, draggy, heavy arms/legs, chills, headache, this remedy is for you. 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
ECHINACEA ..... flu remedy and also remedy for the Hanta Virus. If you have considerable muscle ache with great fatigue, fever spikes come and go with chilliness.
EUPATORIUM PERFOLATUM (or Eup Perf) ..... another premier flu remedy. Take this if you are having symptoms of aching bones with fever, back pain, nasuea & vomiting, restlessness. (these are only some of the symptoms). 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
BAPTISIA ..... another remedy for the flu. Take this if the person appears to be 'drunk' without having been drinking, swift onset of flu symptoms, thickness of tongue. 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
BELLADONNA ..... remedy for colds and and high fever that come on suddenly. Sometimes the face will be flushed red and eyes appear shiny w/dilated pupils, a tickle that makes you cough and a right-sided sore throat.
CROLATUS HORRIDUS ..... actually, this is the venum of the rattlesnake. This remedy has been used in the 1900's against the Plague, Cholera, Scarlet Fever, and Yellow Fever. I have read that it is also the #1 remedy for Ebola virus.
HEPAR SULPH ..... for colds with much thick mucus, a splinter sensation in throat. This is a remedy for sinusitis with nasal discharge.
One remedy made especially for flu symptoms that is a homeopathic remedy and I have found even in pharmacies is: Oscillococcinum. I aways have this one on hand.
G A R L I C : nicknamed "russian penicillin, has anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-yeast properties. You can get garlic capsules that are 'enteric coated'. This means it dissolves further along in your digestive system and that it will not give you 'garlic breath'. Remember though that garlic is a blood thinner.........if you are on any medications that are blood thinners please check with your physician.
S A M B U C O L : ..... this is a black eldeberry extract. Works like the flu remedy called 'Tamiflu'. It is an anti-viral agent. This is something that is new to me, and I have never tried this anti-viral agent.
G R E E N T E A C A P S U L E S : ..... is an immune system booster. It also has anti-viral, anti-bacterial properties. Green tea is also good for the immune system (no caffeine, please).
S L E E P: ..... sleep is important for your immune system. Try to get rest and enough sleep to support your immune system during flu season.
H A N D W A S H I N G: ..... lots of good handwashing, many times a day. It is not necessary (in my opinion) to use anti-bacterial soap. Personally, I use regular soap in my home. But this is my opinion only. Also, remember when women and men wore gloves when they went out in public. Sometimes I wish those days would return.........it might keep us all healthier.
R E F L E X O L O G Y :
This is something you can do for yourself that costs nothing. You can purchase books on the subject or I have seen special gloves and socks that you put on that indicate where the pressure points are for you to work on the different areas of your body (internal organs, spine, head, teeth). There are points for sleep, relaxation. Ever wonder why some people really enjoy a good foot massage. Not a bad idea to give your partner, children a foot massage now and then. It will help keep them healthy, stimulate their immune system and calm their nervous system.
Basically, you just rub all parts of your hand/foot. When finding painful areas, gently massage the area until the pain releases or becomes less tender.
T H E W A T E R O F L I F E:
Or, as people 'in the know' call it......urine therapy. Now don't get all gaggy over this. It is something that works remarkably well. I have tried it myself and also used it on my children for earaches and coughs. With an earache, the pain truly does disappears within 20 minutes - this is not a joke. Unfortunately if this is the first time you are hearing about UT you may need some time to let the thought of this information sink in.
The first time I saw a book on the subject I thought that the author was out of his head. But a couple of years later, I purchased a book on the subject. Now depending on your age, if you were to talk to a grandparent (probably your grandmother), she just might tell you that urine therapy was a normal part of their generation. Since they had NO antibiotics, and no one ever saw a doctor when they were sick, the population did what came naturally.
E A R C O N E S o r E A R C A N D L E S:
If you suffer from sinus problems, ear problems, wax buildup in the ears, you just must try the experience of ear cones. They are shaped somewhat like a tall tapered candle, usually made out of bees wax and muslin. You place the 'cone' in an ear and light the end. As the 'cone' burns down, it draws out all kinds of stuff from your ears and sinus cavity. NOTE: You must have someone do this to you.
C O L O R B R E A T H I N G :
Another subject that is FREE. I've dabbled a bit in color breathing on and off for a number of years. I'm not sure how effective it is, but why dismiss something that other people have such respect for. So here goes..........you have a couple of options: (1) breathe in colored light into the affected area OR (2) get a colored bottle, fill with distilled water, set bottle in sunlight for a day, sip water gently.
F L O WE R E S S E N C E S :
To start with, there is the BACH Flower Remedies. You can purchase them OR, like me, make your own.
There are a few books I really turn to when I, or a family member are ill.
YOUR OWN PERFECT MEDICINE by Martha Christy
URINE THERAPY - IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE by Dr. Beatrice Barnette, D.C., N.D.
POISONS THAT HEAL by Eileen Nauman, DHM
Good luck to us all during this 2005-2006 flu season.
~ The Mediator
Influenza - "a human respiratory infection of undetermined cause" according to Webster's dictionary. Most people have at some stage in their lives felt its effects, and while the normal human virus is not lethal to humans there exists the possibility that lethal "mutated" strains can develop.
Each winter the flu virus makes its expected appearance, commonly known as the "Flu season". The standard government response is to commission the large pharmaceutical companies to manufacture vast amounts of a vaccine.
TO READ MORE ABOUT THE 'FLU THREAT' CLICK HERE....
http://www.sott.net/signs/signs_flu_supplement.htm
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I've decided to list below some of my favorite books AND favorite remedies for the 'flu' and 'flu-like symptoms that come along each year. Mind you, this is just what I have read about, experimented with, and studied. What I am about to list here, are things you can do for yourself and your loved ones, should there be no doctor/hospital available.
Katrina has, I think, made us all think long and hard about how to care for ourselves - to be our own 'first responders'........not to rely on or hope for help coming soon ~ if ever. Anyway, these remedies are either very inexpensive and easily available or FREE. So, lets go shopping.......
((this list is by no means complete......just some of my thoughts on caring for myself and my loved one's.......)) And furthermore, the below is just my personal recommendation on items I have found quite useful. Remember, don't just take my word for it, research yourself always on the subjects below. As always, knowledge protects.
H O M E O P A T H I C R E M E D I E S :These can be purchased in Health Food Stores, and even Pharmacies are starting to stock these. Remedies cost anywhere from $4 to $6 dollars per remedy. And there is enough to last a person for a lifetime. Below is some very basic information. Please research for yourself, as I have done. Hope this will get people thinking and maybe get together a little "flu kit" for the coming months. As always, consult with your physician or medical care giver for further information.
Gelsemium is known as the "Great Flu Remedy" of the 1918 flu virus. This remedy saved many, many lives. Some remedies to have on hand are the following:
ACONITUM (or aconite) ..... 30C potency ..... take one dose (6-12 pellets), every hour for 3 hours in a row. The trick is to realize your're feeling a little 'off', before the onset of flu symptoms (headache, sniffles, fever, scratchy throat). Take this remedy at the VERY BEGINNING of symptoms.
GELSEMIUM ..... premier flu remedy and saved many lives during the epidemic of 1918. This remedy is useflu for flu symptoms that have taken a couple of days to develop. If you are fatigued, draggy, heavy arms/legs, chills, headache, this remedy is for you. 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
ECHINACEA ..... flu remedy and also remedy for the Hanta Virus. If you have considerable muscle ache with great fatigue, fever spikes come and go with chilliness.
EUPATORIUM PERFOLATUM (or Eup Perf) ..... another premier flu remedy. Take this if you are having symptoms of aching bones with fever, back pain, nasuea & vomiting, restlessness. (these are only some of the symptoms). 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
BAPTISIA ..... another remedy for the flu. Take this if the person appears to be 'drunk' without having been drinking, swift onset of flu symptoms, thickness of tongue. 30C once an hour for 3 hours.
BELLADONNA ..... remedy for colds and and high fever that come on suddenly. Sometimes the face will be flushed red and eyes appear shiny w/dilated pupils, a tickle that makes you cough and a right-sided sore throat.
CROLATUS HORRIDUS ..... actually, this is the venum of the rattlesnake. This remedy has been used in the 1900's against the Plague, Cholera, Scarlet Fever, and Yellow Fever. I have read that it is also the #1 remedy for Ebola virus.
HEPAR SULPH ..... for colds with much thick mucus, a splinter sensation in throat. This is a remedy for sinusitis with nasal discharge.
One remedy made especially for flu symptoms that is a homeopathic remedy and I have found even in pharmacies is: Oscillococcinum. I aways have this one on hand.
G A R L I C : nicknamed "russian penicillin, has anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-yeast properties. You can get garlic capsules that are 'enteric coated'. This means it dissolves further along in your digestive system and that it will not give you 'garlic breath'. Remember though that garlic is a blood thinner.........if you are on any medications that are blood thinners please check with your physician.
S A M B U C O L : ..... this is a black eldeberry extract. Works like the flu remedy called 'Tamiflu'. It is an anti-viral agent. This is something that is new to me, and I have never tried this anti-viral agent.
G R E E N T E A C A P S U L E S : ..... is an immune system booster. It also has anti-viral, anti-bacterial properties. Green tea is also good for the immune system (no caffeine, please).
S L E E P: ..... sleep is important for your immune system. Try to get rest and enough sleep to support your immune system during flu season.
H A N D W A S H I N G: ..... lots of good handwashing, many times a day. It is not necessary (in my opinion) to use anti-bacterial soap. Personally, I use regular soap in my home. But this is my opinion only. Also, remember when women and men wore gloves when they went out in public. Sometimes I wish those days would return.........it might keep us all healthier.
R E F L E X O L O G Y :
This is something you can do for yourself that costs nothing. You can purchase books on the subject or I have seen special gloves and socks that you put on that indicate where the pressure points are for you to work on the different areas of your body (internal organs, spine, head, teeth). There are points for sleep, relaxation. Ever wonder why some people really enjoy a good foot massage. Not a bad idea to give your partner, children a foot massage now and then. It will help keep them healthy, stimulate their immune system and calm their nervous system.
Basically, you just rub all parts of your hand/foot. When finding painful areas, gently massage the area until the pain releases or becomes less tender.
T H E W A T E R O F L I F E:
Or, as people 'in the know' call it......urine therapy. Now don't get all gaggy over this. It is something that works remarkably well. I have tried it myself and also used it on my children for earaches and coughs. With an earache, the pain truly does disappears within 20 minutes - this is not a joke. Unfortunately if this is the first time you are hearing about UT you may need some time to let the thought of this information sink in.
The first time I saw a book on the subject I thought that the author was out of his head. But a couple of years later, I purchased a book on the subject. Now depending on your age, if you were to talk to a grandparent (probably your grandmother), she just might tell you that urine therapy was a normal part of their generation. Since they had NO antibiotics, and no one ever saw a doctor when they were sick, the population did what came naturally.
E A R C O N E S o r E A R C A N D L E S:
If you suffer from sinus problems, ear problems, wax buildup in the ears, you just must try the experience of ear cones. They are shaped somewhat like a tall tapered candle, usually made out of bees wax and muslin. You place the 'cone' in an ear and light the end. As the 'cone' burns down, it draws out all kinds of stuff from your ears and sinus cavity. NOTE: You must have someone do this to you.
C O L O R B R E A T H I N G :
Another subject that is FREE. I've dabbled a bit in color breathing on and off for a number of years. I'm not sure how effective it is, but why dismiss something that other people have such respect for. So here goes..........you have a couple of options: (1) breathe in colored light into the affected area OR (2) get a colored bottle, fill with distilled water, set bottle in sunlight for a day, sip water gently.
F L O WE R E S S E N C E S :
To start with, there is the BACH Flower Remedies. You can purchase them OR, like me, make your own.
There are a few books I really turn to when I, or a family member are ill.
YOUR OWN PERFECT MEDICINE by Martha Christy
URINE THERAPY - IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE by Dr. Beatrice Barnette, D.C., N.D.
POISONS THAT HEAL by Eileen Nauman, DHM
Good luck to us all during this 2005-2006 flu season.
~ The Mediator
Sunday, September 25, 2005
FROM KATRINA TO RITA .....just blame the women
I'VE HAD A TOTALLY STRESSED-OUT, FRUSTRATING WEEK. There, Ive said it. Just want to scream as it seems, to me anyway, that there is something wrong with time itself. And, here I'll explain why I feel like this.
Recently I've moved from my home with a very large yard to a very small apartment. Now, having no yardwork to deal with....having no home with 8 rooms/garage/garden to clean and tend to.....having (sob,sob) no pets to care for any longer you would THINK that I would have more than enough time to do what I enjoy, to work, to relax, to visit family & friends ! ! !
Initially after the move, I found myself bored beyond belief. It was the end of the winter season and I thought I'd need to find something to occupy my free time with. Well, I decided for one thing, I would volunteer at the local animal shelter. They are in need of dog walkers and I miss having a pet (especially a dog) more than you can imagine. So I called to volunteer. But, before arranging for times to volunteer the universe kicked in with a whole lotta issues to deal with (Go Figure!!).
To start with, my elderly mother broke her hip and needed an unimaginable amount of care and encouragement during her 9 week stay at the hospital and in rehab. Also, once home - with 24 hour care needed - the issue of assisting mom is only just easing up a bit.
Then there is my son who has Down's Syndrome. Moving into the city (even a small one) apparently has it's issues. A friend of his (and he doesn't have too many) has gotten him involved with an unsavory crowd. ((unlike living out in the country, where being home alone after school was a worry for me..........living here in the city, where he can go out and walk about and find trouble is also going to be a different kind of worry for me)). And, because he is a rather 'high-functioning' young man, he lives between the worlds of the disabled and the normal. He actually does not fit into either and I worry that because he struggles to be like the rest of the world, he will step into a trap, all laid out for him by the psychopaths of the normal world.
Single motherhood simply sucks. There is no difference whether you have children who are disabled or 'normal'. The pitfalls in todays world are boundless. And, I don't know how new mothers will cope in the future, once their children are grown and out on their own.
Third, my ex-husband, who is an alcoholic, and whom I have tried to maintain a civil relationship with for the sake of the children, is having major problems maintaining his sobriety. So that everytime he falls off the 'wagon', so to speak, the kids feel a major disappointment and I am torn emotionally wanting to cut off all ties permanently. But that is, and has been, a difficult thing to do since he still wants to see his son and his son misses his dad alot. UGH.
Well, back to the TIME issue. All of a sudden the summer season has gone and I have done nothing but run myself ragged between issues around my mother, my son, my ex, and the normal life stuff like work, birthdays, family gatherings, my dance class (I love swing and country line dancing).
The time has just flown by. Now I do understand that as you get older (and I am 57), that time does go faster. But this is just downright rediculous. And when I do find time to relax, I feel this GUILT feeling come over me, telling me I should be doing something.
Well, enough of my complaining. Although, sometimes it feels good to get an issue out in the open. TIME, apparently, is my issue. Hope I learn to deal with it successfully.
~ The Mediator
Recently I've moved from my home with a very large yard to a very small apartment. Now, having no yardwork to deal with....having no home with 8 rooms/garage/garden to clean and tend to.....having (sob,sob) no pets to care for any longer you would THINK that I would have more than enough time to do what I enjoy, to work, to relax, to visit family & friends ! ! !
Initially after the move, I found myself bored beyond belief. It was the end of the winter season and I thought I'd need to find something to occupy my free time with. Well, I decided for one thing, I would volunteer at the local animal shelter. They are in need of dog walkers and I miss having a pet (especially a dog) more than you can imagine. So I called to volunteer. But, before arranging for times to volunteer the universe kicked in with a whole lotta issues to deal with (Go Figure!!).
To start with, my elderly mother broke her hip and needed an unimaginable amount of care and encouragement during her 9 week stay at the hospital and in rehab. Also, once home - with 24 hour care needed - the issue of assisting mom is only just easing up a bit.
Then there is my son who has Down's Syndrome. Moving into the city (even a small one) apparently has it's issues. A friend of his (and he doesn't have too many) has gotten him involved with an unsavory crowd. ((unlike living out in the country, where being home alone after school was a worry for me..........living here in the city, where he can go out and walk about and find trouble is also going to be a different kind of worry for me)). And, because he is a rather 'high-functioning' young man, he lives between the worlds of the disabled and the normal. He actually does not fit into either and I worry that because he struggles to be like the rest of the world, he will step into a trap, all laid out for him by the psychopaths of the normal world.
Single motherhood simply sucks. There is no difference whether you have children who are disabled or 'normal'. The pitfalls in todays world are boundless. And, I don't know how new mothers will cope in the future, once their children are grown and out on their own.
Third, my ex-husband, who is an alcoholic, and whom I have tried to maintain a civil relationship with for the sake of the children, is having major problems maintaining his sobriety. So that everytime he falls off the 'wagon', so to speak, the kids feel a major disappointment and I am torn emotionally wanting to cut off all ties permanently. But that is, and has been, a difficult thing to do since he still wants to see his son and his son misses his dad alot. UGH.
Well, back to the TIME issue. All of a sudden the summer season has gone and I have done nothing but run myself ragged between issues around my mother, my son, my ex, and the normal life stuff like work, birthdays, family gatherings, my dance class (I love swing and country line dancing).
The time has just flown by. Now I do understand that as you get older (and I am 57), that time does go faster. But this is just downright rediculous. And when I do find time to relax, I feel this GUILT feeling come over me, telling me I should be doing something.
Well, enough of my complaining. Although, sometimes it feels good to get an issue out in the open. TIME, apparently, is my issue. Hope I learn to deal with it successfully.
~ The Mediator
Friday, September 02, 2005
THE HORROR'S OF KATRINA
Finally I had to break away from the tv news and radio commentators who have not stopped talking about the Hurricane called Katrina.
Although I don't know anyone personally who has either lived through this nightmare or not survived the unbelievable terror of the situation, I cannot help but wonder WHY, WHY, WHY was help soooooo long in coming to those who were not able to leave New Orleans and other cities and towns.
WHY is it that most of the people I'm seeing left behind appear to be poor, black, elderly, disabled...........are these supposedly dispensable human beings. Is this someone's way of saving the go-ver-ment money, thinking when they are no longer a burden to taxpayers, we will all benefit???
WHY were picture of white people shown with food/water taken from stores with quotes like "found these items" and then the pictures of blacks with the same items having a quote "looting" ???
WHY are individuals who have survived what can only be imagined an unbelievably traumatic event, now be labeled 'refugees' when they are actually 'homeless' ???
WHY are many americans finding it hard to reach out to these frightened, tired, people. At least that's my perspective at this moment??? When the tsunami hit back in December '04 people I knew said they couldn't wait to donate to the red cross or some other clinton/bush website to help those in need. But today, all I seem to be hearing from those same people are things like "Why didn't those people get out when they could?, Why don't they just leave the area?, Don't they have relatives that can take them in??? It seems that the media has made the survivors seem like a great inconvenience to the rest of us. Dunno. Just bothers me that no one seems too eager to donate this time.
Hoping you and yours are safe,
~ The Mediator
Although I don't know anyone personally who has either lived through this nightmare or not survived the unbelievable terror of the situation, I cannot help but wonder WHY, WHY, WHY was help soooooo long in coming to those who were not able to leave New Orleans and other cities and towns.
WHY is it that most of the people I'm seeing left behind appear to be poor, black, elderly, disabled...........are these supposedly dispensable human beings. Is this someone's way of saving the go-ver-ment money, thinking when they are no longer a burden to taxpayers, we will all benefit???
WHY were picture of white people shown with food/water taken from stores with quotes like "found these items" and then the pictures of blacks with the same items having a quote "looting" ???
WHY are individuals who have survived what can only be imagined an unbelievably traumatic event, now be labeled 'refugees' when they are actually 'homeless' ???
WHY are many americans finding it hard to reach out to these frightened, tired, people. At least that's my perspective at this moment??? When the tsunami hit back in December '04 people I knew said they couldn't wait to donate to the red cross or some other clinton/bush website to help those in need. But today, all I seem to be hearing from those same people are things like "Why didn't those people get out when they could?, Why don't they just leave the area?, Don't they have relatives that can take them in??? It seems that the media has made the survivors seem like a great inconvenience to the rest of us. Dunno. Just bothers me that no one seems too eager to donate this time.
Hoping you and yours are safe,
~ The Mediator
Friday, August 26, 2005
LOOK FOR A WAY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE GRAND
The title of this blog was something I read this morning. It was a story of a man who was in such despair that he contemplated suicide. As fate would have it, he happened to pick up a book on self-confidence and, after reading this book, decided to look for a way to make his life grand. Now I don't know whether this story is true or not, but I do have some experience with self-confidence and the lack thereof.
Some years ago I went back to work after the children were older. I happened to secure a job at a doctor's office. I was only going to work two days a week ..... seemed perfect, except for one thing ~ I had never worked in this type of setting before.
The girl who was going to train me was wonderful. Our first day together she basically showed me how the schedule worked, the phones, the files, confidentiality, etc., and it was a small physicians office. I thought that working with Coleen would be just perfect. My second day on the job, Coleen told me she had just given her notice ..... I would be the only person in the office effective my next time in. Holy Batman! ! this was NOT what I expected to do. How could I run the office??
My next day at work, I seemed to be very tense and went through the motions of answering the phone, greeting patients, taking medical information, scheduling appointments, etc. As the day wore on, I kept hearing a voice (not literally) saying over and over that "you can't do this, you'll screw up, you should just leave." And I was contemplating telling the doctor at the end of the day that this would be my last time here.
Fortunately for me, the transcriptionist (one who types all the doctor's medical notes on the patients) saw how worried I seemed to be and said: "Just act like you know what you're doing.", and with just that one sentence, it changed my life and made me a very valuable employee.
Just act like you know what you're doing. Doesn't matter the situation. When you feel like you can't cope or your self confidence is waining..............just do it.
This may help, may not. Just my thought for the day.
~ The Mediator
Some years ago I went back to work after the children were older. I happened to secure a job at a doctor's office. I was only going to work two days a week ..... seemed perfect, except for one thing ~ I had never worked in this type of setting before.
The girl who was going to train me was wonderful. Our first day together she basically showed me how the schedule worked, the phones, the files, confidentiality, etc., and it was a small physicians office. I thought that working with Coleen would be just perfect. My second day on the job, Coleen told me she had just given her notice ..... I would be the only person in the office effective my next time in. Holy Batman! ! this was NOT what I expected to do. How could I run the office??
My next day at work, I seemed to be very tense and went through the motions of answering the phone, greeting patients, taking medical information, scheduling appointments, etc. As the day wore on, I kept hearing a voice (not literally) saying over and over that "you can't do this, you'll screw up, you should just leave." And I was contemplating telling the doctor at the end of the day that this would be my last time here.
Fortunately for me, the transcriptionist (one who types all the doctor's medical notes on the patients) saw how worried I seemed to be and said: "Just act like you know what you're doing.", and with just that one sentence, it changed my life and made me a very valuable employee.
Just act like you know what you're doing. Doesn't matter the situation. When you feel like you can't cope or your self confidence is waining..............just do it.
This may help, may not. Just my thought for the day.
~ The Mediator
Monday, August 22, 2005
MaMa's Gotta Brand New Hip !
This is just a small rant about what is going on in my life right now.
As part of the baby boom generation, I am finding myself in between two generations that need my assistance.
There is my mother, who is 81 years old. Just broke her hip. Needs lots of home care ~ actually 24 hour care. Then there is my son, soon to turn 21, who has Down's Syndrome. Needs lots of home care ~ actually 24 hour care. Do you see a pattern here??? My life has been full of patterns. And, most of them have been so obvious that you can't miss them.
Let's start with Boyfriend#1. His mother didn't like me. She didn't know me, but just refused to acknowledge my being. Boyfriend#1 also had a sister Mary who didn't like me. Also, she didn't know me either, but was partnering up with her mom. OK....I moved on and then enters Boyfriend#2.
Well, Boyfriend#2 had a mother who didn't like little ole me either (now, I'm really a terriffic person....not too loud, not too pretty, not too funny...just a great human being). And, this Boyfriend#2 also had a sister Mary who, like her mother, refused to speak to me and/or acknowledge my presence when I was visiting their home. Now, you think I would have picked up on something STRANGE going on in my universe. But, Boyfriend#2 went away after college and joined the Service. We broke up. Enter Boyfriend #3.
At this point in my life, I'm older, I'm wiser, ` ` ` ` NOT. Well, when I finally went home to meet Boyfriend#3's parents, the mother did all she could to tell me HER SON was not ready for any commitments. HER SON was going on to further his education. HER SON was the apple of her eye and he could do no wrong ~ ~ ~ except by dating me. And guess what, Boyfriend#3's sister was named Mary. I never made the connection. It's true, LOVE IS BLIND.
If there's anyone out there with a similar circumstance, or who'se found repeating patterns in their lives, please let me know. This is just tooooo bizzzzzarre to be for real.
I married Boyfriend#3 and unfortunately it did not last even though I gave it my best shot over and over, and over, and over. Congratulations go out to Mother and Mary for sabotaging (???spelling???) the relationship. What did happen though was that I gave birth to two wonderful children, whom I adore with all my heart and soul.
~ The Mediator
As part of the baby boom generation, I am finding myself in between two generations that need my assistance.
There is my mother, who is 81 years old. Just broke her hip. Needs lots of home care ~ actually 24 hour care. Then there is my son, soon to turn 21, who has Down's Syndrome. Needs lots of home care ~ actually 24 hour care. Do you see a pattern here??? My life has been full of patterns. And, most of them have been so obvious that you can't miss them.
Let's start with Boyfriend#1. His mother didn't like me. She didn't know me, but just refused to acknowledge my being. Boyfriend#1 also had a sister Mary who didn't like me. Also, she didn't know me either, but was partnering up with her mom. OK....I moved on and then enters Boyfriend#2.
Well, Boyfriend#2 had a mother who didn't like little ole me either (now, I'm really a terriffic person....not too loud, not too pretty, not too funny...just a great human being). And, this Boyfriend#2 also had a sister Mary who, like her mother, refused to speak to me and/or acknowledge my presence when I was visiting their home. Now, you think I would have picked up on something STRANGE going on in my universe. But, Boyfriend#2 went away after college and joined the Service. We broke up. Enter Boyfriend #3.
At this point in my life, I'm older, I'm wiser, ` ` ` ` NOT. Well, when I finally went home to meet Boyfriend#3's parents, the mother did all she could to tell me HER SON was not ready for any commitments. HER SON was going on to further his education. HER SON was the apple of her eye and he could do no wrong ~ ~ ~ except by dating me. And guess what, Boyfriend#3's sister was named Mary. I never made the connection. It's true, LOVE IS BLIND.
If there's anyone out there with a similar circumstance, or who'se found repeating patterns in their lives, please let me know. This is just tooooo bizzzzzarre to be for real.
I married Boyfriend#3 and unfortunately it did not last even though I gave it my best shot over and over, and over, and over. Congratulations go out to Mother and Mary for sabotaging (???spelling???) the relationship. What did happen though was that I gave birth to two wonderful children, whom I adore with all my heart and soul.
~ The Mediator
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Things That Make You 'Think' (or, why didn't I ever know this before)
As the stress of our daily lives continues to build (or maybe I need to state "my daily life"), frustration and anxiety sometimes comes creeping into my mind at the oddest of times.
Don't know about you, but if you do any reading on the net of the different news articles and then go and listen to your local/national news on television - - they don't match. Not only do they differ in content, the 'talking heads' seem to only focus on an individual issue. That issue, usually has nothing to do with our (l) economy (2) the w..a..r. ((otherwise known as 'We..Are..Right)), (3) national security/homeland security/borders or (4) what our senators and prez are doing for us/US citizens. Actually we do know what (4) is doing, they are vacationing ! !
After reading several articles today, I have realized that those in power/govmet are only using us as human cattle. And what do we do with cattle, why we slaughter them and eat them. Does anyone ever worry about cattle. NO ! ! We just think of better ways to serve them up on our dinner plates. And today, that's what I feel our world is doing to us humans ..... serving us up as a blue plate specialty. There are so many of us, we need to get rid of the overstock. OK, then what's the best way to do that ..... war, famine, war, disease, war, famine, disease and WAR.
So, here's my statement for today: STOP ACTING LIKE CATTLE. Turn off your TV, your CELL PHONES, stop waiting for someone else to help you. HELP YOURSELF. DO SOMETHING.
If you find yourself in a situation/position where you feel that all is lost and you cannot move or think because of the horror surrounding you, then you must DO something. Get up, go for a walk, call a hotline, hug your child, stop interracting with the demon in your life.
Then go read these articles. Guaranteed you'll feel depressed. But at least you'll know the truth. You'll know that you really are cattle. Some of us are Cattle and maybe some of us are Ca'telle. But whoever you think you are on the ladder of life, chew on this.........
Be Brave. DO ! !
~ The Mediator
Don't know about you, but if you do any reading on the net of the different news articles and then go and listen to your local/national news on television - - they don't match. Not only do they differ in content, the 'talking heads' seem to only focus on an individual issue. That issue, usually has nothing to do with our (l) economy (2) the w..a..r. ((otherwise known as 'We..Are..Right)), (3) national security/homeland security/borders or (4) what our senators and prez are doing for us/US citizens. Actually we do know what (4) is doing, they are vacationing ! !
After reading several articles today, I have realized that those in power/govmet are only using us as human cattle. And what do we do with cattle, why we slaughter them and eat them. Does anyone ever worry about cattle. NO ! ! We just think of better ways to serve them up on our dinner plates. And today, that's what I feel our world is doing to us humans ..... serving us up as a blue plate specialty. There are so many of us, we need to get rid of the overstock. OK, then what's the best way to do that ..... war, famine, war, disease, war, famine, disease and WAR.
So, here's my statement for today: STOP ACTING LIKE CATTLE. Turn off your TV, your CELL PHONES, stop waiting for someone else to help you. HELP YOURSELF. DO SOMETHING.
If you find yourself in a situation/position where you feel that all is lost and you cannot move or think because of the horror surrounding you, then you must DO something. Get up, go for a walk, call a hotline, hug your child, stop interracting with the demon in your life.
Then go read these articles. Guaranteed you'll feel depressed. But at least you'll know the truth. You'll know that you really are cattle. Some of us are Cattle and maybe some of us are Ca'telle. But whoever you think you are on the ladder of life, chew on this.........
Be Brave. DO ! !
~ The Mediator
Sunday, July 24, 2005
DID I JUST WAKE UP (or, exactly what reality am I in?)
Somehow with all the horror going on in the world around us, the issue of 911 keeps coming back to the forefront. This is something I have read about and continue to think about, especially when it's back 'in your face' time with terror bombings popping up all over the world.
So today, I looked at this flash presentation of the 'Pentagon Strike'. I would suggest if you haven't seen it, to take a look at this out-of-the-ordinary film. It took my computer a few minutes to download. Don't be discouraged - the wait is very worth it.
See what you think. See what your brain tells you. Then, you'll get creeped out, just like I did.
OK, fwiw: http://www.pentagonstrike.co.uk/flash.htm#Preloader
~ The Mediator
ps. I've got a sick child at home, a mom who is hospitalized, and this, supposedly, is my vacation time ! ! !
Being a single mom can truly sometimes challenge the crapola out of a person.
So today, I looked at this flash presentation of the 'Pentagon Strike'. I would suggest if you haven't seen it, to take a look at this out-of-the-ordinary film. It took my computer a few minutes to download. Don't be discouraged - the wait is very worth it.
See what you think. See what your brain tells you. Then, you'll get creeped out, just like I did.
OK, fwiw: http://www.pentagonstrike.co.uk/flash.htm#Preloader
~ The Mediator
ps. I've got a sick child at home, a mom who is hospitalized, and this, supposedly, is my vacation time ! ! !
Being a single mom can truly sometimes challenge the crapola out of a person.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
TO CONINUE MY "CIRCLE OF LIFE" STORY
In a previous post on "Finding Grandfather Tree", I left off where the old oak tree gave me a picture of a supposed life-past. A story so true to that present-day experience, that it literally gave me a much clearer picture of my life .... as-it-was. And, this is the story I was given by Grandfather Tree, my friend.
Even as I ran home, trying to capture the entire story that had unfolded in my brain in a matter of seconds, I was loosing the complete and exact picture of the life that was shown to me. To this day, I cannot account why this happened or how it happened. It has never happened since. I ran as quick as I could down the hill, dodging briars and some mushy, squishy underground streams of water that snaked through the field below. As I arrived home, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began writing this 'gift' of a story given to me.
I was an Indian Maiden, a Medicine Woman who was out gathering herbs for my medicine
pouch. This was something that I did daily and I had come to rest below a great Oak Tree
to observe the 'farmer' and his family. They were settlers, and the farmer had a wife who
was pregnant and a young child.
Apparently I enjoyed sitting and watching the activities of this family. It was a different
way of life than I had known and I was mostly curious about the people who lived
below my wonderful Oak Tree, and their behaviors.
One day, I noticed that the pregnant woman did not come out of her house and that the
farmer was obviously distraught (I don't know how I knew this, but I did). Wanting to
be of help (and deep down I knew that I should not interfere, I knew that the Tribe
would, if they found out, find fault with my actions and there would be consequences),
I left my Oak Tree and walked down through the briars and field to the farm below.
Upon meeting the farmer and hearing his story about his wife and that she was very
ill, I offered to help with my medicines. But the pregnant wife died and I apparently
felt very sorry for the farmer.
Daily I would return to the farmer and over time, fell in love and became pregnant.
When the Tribe discovered my 'situation', ((and this part I'm not exactly sure that I
remember it correctly)) attacked the farmer and killed him and his young child.
As for me, I was banished from the Tribe, in that I was given a lodge/tepee aside from
all of my tribe people. They forbade anyone to speak to me, but just bring me food
and water and wood for heat. When my child was born, there apparently was a
defect that was noticeable. The elders took the child and left him outside exposed to
the elements and animals. The baby died. I was distraught. Then I made the
decision not to live. So, I stopped eating and eventually passed on.
Now how did this life correlate to my present life situation. Well, the Tribe turns out to be my in-laws, who lived up the street.......remember I lived on a street, a dead-end street, with only three homes on it, mine, my husband's parents and his two brothers, and my sister-in-law's home and her family. And remember, no one in this family liked me (their dislike for me was never a spoken thing), and this in-law family of mine didn't speak to me - except for the occasional 'hi'. When my husband and my children and I moved onto this street, I was terrified that I would die (had no rational reason except that I did know they disliked me, and I was also worried that his family would take my children from me --- literally I did fear that ! !). I could not eat (everything gave me terrible indigestion and made my heart race) and, being 5'9" my weight dropped to 116 lbs. I really looked like 'death warmed over'. Plus, my youngest child, my son was born with a disability. My husband was literally incapable of confronting his family about the terrible situation they were putting me/my family through by their hurtful actions. Never, did anything change. NEVER.
I remember the first summer we lived on this dead-end street. My husband, daughter and I were going to go to the ocean for a few days vacation. I was going to leave my then 4 year old disabled son with my in-laws while we were away. I was actually looking forward to having a break from him (my son) as he took up all my time (24/7).
That night, while we were dining at a great seafood restaurant in Maine, out of the blue I became terrified. I had a panic attack during the meal and had to walk out of the restaurant. That night, my terror was so magnified that I told my family we had to go home, that if I stayed where we were I would die. So, we left Maine and went home, with me sitting in the back seat of the car crying. Funny too, there was a full-moon out that night.
From that time on, things between my husband and myself went/spiraled downward.........that was 16 years ago.
But I was able to change the course of events, to CHANGE MY STARS, so to speak.
......To be continued
~ The Mediator
Even as I ran home, trying to capture the entire story that had unfolded in my brain in a matter of seconds, I was loosing the complete and exact picture of the life that was shown to me. To this day, I cannot account why this happened or how it happened. It has never happened since. I ran as quick as I could down the hill, dodging briars and some mushy, squishy underground streams of water that snaked through the field below. As I arrived home, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began writing this 'gift' of a story given to me.
I was an Indian Maiden, a Medicine Woman who was out gathering herbs for my medicine
pouch. This was something that I did daily and I had come to rest below a great Oak Tree
to observe the 'farmer' and his family. They were settlers, and the farmer had a wife who
was pregnant and a young child.
Apparently I enjoyed sitting and watching the activities of this family. It was a different
way of life than I had known and I was mostly curious about the people who lived
below my wonderful Oak Tree, and their behaviors.
One day, I noticed that the pregnant woman did not come out of her house and that the
farmer was obviously distraught (I don't know how I knew this, but I did). Wanting to
be of help (and deep down I knew that I should not interfere, I knew that the Tribe
would, if they found out, find fault with my actions and there would be consequences),
I left my Oak Tree and walked down through the briars and field to the farm below.
Upon meeting the farmer and hearing his story about his wife and that she was very
ill, I offered to help with my medicines. But the pregnant wife died and I apparently
felt very sorry for the farmer.
Daily I would return to the farmer and over time, fell in love and became pregnant.
When the Tribe discovered my 'situation', ((and this part I'm not exactly sure that I
remember it correctly)) attacked the farmer and killed him and his young child.
As for me, I was banished from the Tribe, in that I was given a lodge/tepee aside from
all of my tribe people. They forbade anyone to speak to me, but just bring me food
and water and wood for heat. When my child was born, there apparently was a
defect that was noticeable. The elders took the child and left him outside exposed to
the elements and animals. The baby died. I was distraught. Then I made the
decision not to live. So, I stopped eating and eventually passed on.
Now how did this life correlate to my present life situation. Well, the Tribe turns out to be my in-laws, who lived up the street.......remember I lived on a street, a dead-end street, with only three homes on it, mine, my husband's parents and his two brothers, and my sister-in-law's home and her family. And remember, no one in this family liked me (their dislike for me was never a spoken thing), and this in-law family of mine didn't speak to me - except for the occasional 'hi'. When my husband and my children and I moved onto this street, I was terrified that I would die (had no rational reason except that I did know they disliked me, and I was also worried that his family would take my children from me --- literally I did fear that ! !). I could not eat (everything gave me terrible indigestion and made my heart race) and, being 5'9" my weight dropped to 116 lbs. I really looked like 'death warmed over'. Plus, my youngest child, my son was born with a disability. My husband was literally incapable of confronting his family about the terrible situation they were putting me/my family through by their hurtful actions. Never, did anything change. NEVER.
I remember the first summer we lived on this dead-end street. My husband, daughter and I were going to go to the ocean for a few days vacation. I was going to leave my then 4 year old disabled son with my in-laws while we were away. I was actually looking forward to having a break from him (my son) as he took up all my time (24/7).
That night, while we were dining at a great seafood restaurant in Maine, out of the blue I became terrified. I had a panic attack during the meal and had to walk out of the restaurant. That night, my terror was so magnified that I told my family we had to go home, that if I stayed where we were I would die. So, we left Maine and went home, with me sitting in the back seat of the car crying. Funny too, there was a full-moon out that night.
From that time on, things between my husband and myself went/spiraled downward.........that was 16 years ago.
But I was able to change the course of events, to CHANGE MY STARS, so to speak.
......To be continued
~ The Mediator
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